A Christmas CYOA
- Thread starter Colonel Thunder
- Start date
Actually, I'm curious about the Christmas orgy, so I'm voting for that.
Tolvan says anime convention which Walrus promptly ignores and pretends that Tolvan said whatever Walrus thinks is a good idea.
"Sometimes communities do a nativity scene," says Tolvan. "But...given our community, maybe an anime convention would-"
"What a great idea!" declares Walrus. "A nativity scene! Why, I'm sure everyone will love it!"
"But an anim-" Tolvan squeaks, being cut off by Walrus.
"Oh, of course!" says Walrus. "I was thinking the same thing! We'll do an anime nativity scene!"
"Oh no..."
"Now," says Walrus. "We just need to call the forumers and ask them to play the different parts!"
---
Who does Walrus have in mind to play each part? These can be any past or present forumers. Keep in mind that some forumers might turn down a role if they don't like it. And, the more Walrus logic the better.
-babby Jesus
-Mary
-Joseph
-Shepard(s)
-Angel(s)
-Wise Guy(s)
-Camel
-Donkey
-King Herod
"What a great idea!" declares Walrus. "A nativity scene! Why, I'm sure everyone will love it!"
"But an anim-" Tolvan squeaks, being cut off by Walrus.
"Oh, of course!" says Walrus. "I was thinking the same thing! We'll do an anime nativity scene!"
"Oh no..."
"Now," says Walrus. "We just need to call the forumers and ask them to play the different parts!"
---
Who does Walrus have in mind to play each part? These can be any past or present forumers. Keep in mind that some forumers might turn down a role if they don't like it. And, the more Walrus logic the better.
-babby Jesus
-Mary
-Joseph
-Shepard(s)
-Angel(s)
-Wise Guy(s)
-Camel
-Donkey
-King Herod
-Walrus
-Walrus
-Walrus
-Walrus
-Walrus
-Walrus
-Walrus
-Walrus
-Tirin
-Walrus
-Walrus
-Walrus
-Walrus
-Walrus
-Walrus
-Walrus
-Tirin
Sadly, Melody and Nifty don't answer their phones. Walrus takes their place. Everyone else agrees to their parts.
Walrus spends some time in storage looking for Christmas decorations. Tolvan weasels out of this one and watches anime with Coolpool, who seems a bit more creepy than usual.
Chickenspleen gets stuck listening to Lumpy rant about chemtrails, and Req sleeps in the dumpster outside Wolfy's diner.
No one has seen Tag Ross recently.
Recon and Artist go to bed early, and Stealthy stays up late chuckling by a warm fire, his plans going smoothly.
Soon, everyone goes to bed.
...
Except for the two Australians, who stay up, since their perception of time and seasons is ass-backward.
"Oi Maretocks!" says Andy, cooking dinner with a bright apron on.
"Wheh?" responds Maretocks, looking over his newspaper.
"Tomorrow is Christmas Eve!" says Andy. "Who's fam we invitin' over for the holiday?"
"Whoever's out of prison I guess," shrugs Maretocks. "Wait, fuck me, they're both out of prison."
"How weird indeed!" says Andy. "Lessee...who's family we invitin'?"
---------------------------
Who is invited to spend Christmas with Andy and Maretocks?
-Andy's family
-Maretocks' family
-custom
Walrus spends some time in storage looking for Christmas decorations. Tolvan weasels out of this one and watches anime with Coolpool, who seems a bit more creepy than usual.
Chickenspleen gets stuck listening to Lumpy rant about chemtrails, and Req sleeps in the dumpster outside Wolfy's diner.
No one has seen Tag Ross recently.
Recon and Artist go to bed early, and Stealthy stays up late chuckling by a warm fire, his plans going smoothly.
Soon, everyone goes to bed.
...
Except for the two Australians, who stay up, since their perception of time and seasons is ass-backward.
"Oi Maretocks!" says Andy, cooking dinner with a bright apron on.
"Wheh?" responds Maretocks, looking over his newspaper.
"Tomorrow is Christmas Eve!" says Andy. "Who's fam we invitin' over for the holiday?"
"Whoever's out of prison I guess," shrugs Maretocks. "Wait, fuck me, they're both out of prison."
"How weird indeed!" says Andy. "Lessee...who's family we invitin'?"
---------------------------
Who is invited to spend Christmas with Andy and Maretocks?
-Andy's family
-Maretocks' family
-custom
"Wait a tick," says Andy. "Moi fam got eaten by dingos."
"My gang of brigands it is, then!" says Maretocks.
Early the next morning, Walrus parades through town shouting through a megaphone for everyone to come to the Forum Nativity Scene that evening. Walrus promises free food and drink for all who attend the event, to be held at City Hall.
Walrus and Tolvan spend the whole day setting up for the big show and decorating City Hall.
"Are you sure these are Christmas decorations?" asks Tolvan, hanging up some odd wires.
"Of course they are!" says Walrus. "Stealthy even said so! It was unusually kind of him."
"Okay.." says Tolvan, continuing the decorations.
That night, everyone begins showing up.
"I wish you would have showed up earlier!" says Walrus to the actors. "We don't have any time to rehearse, we'll have to do it great the first time!"
"Hey Walrus!" says Recon, walking with Artist into the building. "The building looks great! We're all really excited to see what you've come up with."
"You...won't be disappointed!" says Walrus nervously.
"Just don't forget," whispers Artist. "Before you let everyone go to eat and drink, call us up on stage so we can talk about the fundraiser."
"The what?" says Walrus. "Oh, um, yes - of course! That is the point of this whole thing after all..haha..."
Recon and Artist walk inside where most of the forumers are gathered, anxious for the play to start and then be over, so they can get their free shit as promised.
"You all read the script right?" asks Walrus.
"The what?" asks Lumpy. "You mean the manifesto?"
"I tried reading it," says TC. "But, I accidentally caught it on fire."
It seems that Andy, Maretocks, Regis, and Easy hadn't read the script either.
"No worries!" says Walrus. "Under my flawless direction, we'll do fine anyways! Now, let's go into City Hall and knock 'em dead!"
"Hold on, bub," says Tirin, blocking Walrus' path as he's about to enter the building. "Don't you remember? You have a restraining order from this building, you need to be at least fifty feet away from it at all times."
"It's true," says Easy.
Tirin spins Walrus around, picks him up by his collar, and kicks him in the pants so hard he flies exactly fifty feet away from City Hall, crash-landing in a snowmanwomen Ibix had built.
"My big night will be ruined unless I take quick action!" says Walrus. "But who should I appoint to direct the play?"
---
Who does Walrus put in charge of directing the nativity scene?
-Req
-Chicken
-Coolpool
-Zircom
-TC
-Bob
-Andy
-Maretocks
-Recon
-Artist
-Tirin
-Easy
-Regis
-Lumpy
-custom
"My gang of brigands it is, then!" says Maretocks.
Early the next morning, Walrus parades through town shouting through a megaphone for everyone to come to the Forum Nativity Scene that evening. Walrus promises free food and drink for all who attend the event, to be held at City Hall.
Walrus and Tolvan spend the whole day setting up for the big show and decorating City Hall.
"Are you sure these are Christmas decorations?" asks Tolvan, hanging up some odd wires.
"Of course they are!" says Walrus. "Stealthy even said so! It was unusually kind of him."
"Okay.." says Tolvan, continuing the decorations.
That night, everyone begins showing up.
"I wish you would have showed up earlier!" says Walrus to the actors. "We don't have any time to rehearse, we'll have to do it great the first time!"
"Hey Walrus!" says Recon, walking with Artist into the building. "The building looks great! We're all really excited to see what you've come up with."
"You...won't be disappointed!" says Walrus nervously.
"Just don't forget," whispers Artist. "Before you let everyone go to eat and drink, call us up on stage so we can talk about the fundraiser."
"The what?" says Walrus. "Oh, um, yes - of course! That is the point of this whole thing after all..haha..."
Recon and Artist walk inside where most of the forumers are gathered, anxious for the play to start and then be over, so they can get their free shit as promised.
"You all read the script right?" asks Walrus.
"The what?" asks Lumpy. "You mean the manifesto?"
"I tried reading it," says TC. "But, I accidentally caught it on fire."
It seems that Andy, Maretocks, Regis, and Easy hadn't read the script either.
"No worries!" says Walrus. "Under my flawless direction, we'll do fine anyways! Now, let's go into City Hall and knock 'em dead!"
"Hold on, bub," says Tirin, blocking Walrus' path as he's about to enter the building. "Don't you remember? You have a restraining order from this building, you need to be at least fifty feet away from it at all times."
"It's true," says Easy.
Tirin spins Walrus around, picks him up by his collar, and kicks him in the pants so hard he flies exactly fifty feet away from City Hall, crash-landing in a snowmanwomen Ibix had built.
"My big night will be ruined unless I take quick action!" says Walrus. "But who should I appoint to direct the play?"
---
Who does Walrus put in charge of directing the nativity scene?
-Req
-Chicken
-Coolpool
-Zircom
-TC
-Bob
-Andy
-Maretocks
-Recon
-Artist
-Tirin
-Easy
-Regis
-Lumpy
-custom
I then delegate to TC
Stealthy is enjoying a quiet evening alone in his mansion. A large tree full of gifts from himself, to himself rests nearby. All sorts of delicious food and drink surround him on various tables. There was no way he could eat all the food himself, it would spoil before long. But that was part of the fun.
Suddenly, Stealthy's phone rings.
"Hello," says Stealthy, a little annoyed.
"Stealthy!" yells Walrus. "Thank goodness you picked up!"
"Wrong number," says Stealthy, hanging up the phone.
Walrus calls again.
"What?" says Stealthy angrily.
Stealthy half-listens to Walrus' plea, and Stealthy promises to take care of it. After Walrus hangs up, Stealthy calls TC, puts him in charge, and has a good laugh at the sound of TC panicking.
--
"Oh wow there's such a large crowd out there!" says TC nervously, looking at the dozen or so forumers that bothered to show up.
TC looks back to the other actors; Andyman, Maretocks, Regis, Easy, Lumpy, and Tirin.
"Just remember what the play's about, and we should get through this just fine," says TC.
"Easy shit," says Tirin. "It's about how I saved Christmas a few years back, ain't it?"
"Uh..." says TC.
"No, it's about government oppression!" insists Lumpy.
"Wrestling crocodingos!" declares Andy.
Easy just smiles and enjoys the good time. He's appropriately boozed.
---
What does TC decide the play is about?
-how Tirin saved Christmas
-government oppression
-Australian recreation
-custom
Suddenly, Stealthy's phone rings.
"Hello," says Stealthy, a little annoyed.
"Stealthy!" yells Walrus. "Thank goodness you picked up!"
"Wrong number," says Stealthy, hanging up the phone.
Walrus calls again.
"What?" says Stealthy angrily.
Stealthy half-listens to Walrus' plea, and Stealthy promises to take care of it. After Walrus hangs up, Stealthy calls TC, puts him in charge, and has a good laugh at the sound of TC panicking.
--
"Oh wow there's such a large crowd out there!" says TC nervously, looking at the dozen or so forumers that bothered to show up.
TC looks back to the other actors; Andyman, Maretocks, Regis, Easy, Lumpy, and Tirin.
"Just remember what the play's about, and we should get through this just fine," says TC.
"Easy shit," says Tirin. "It's about how I saved Christmas a few years back, ain't it?"
"Uh..." says TC.
"No, it's about government oppression!" insists Lumpy.
"Wrestling crocodingos!" declares Andy.
Easy just smiles and enjoys the good time. He's appropriately boozed.
---
What does TC decide the play is about?
-how Tirin saved Christmas
-government oppression
-Australian recreation
-custom
All of the above
How the Australian government's oppressive recreation laws saved Christmas.
"...that!" says TC. "All of that! That sounds good."
"That sounds awful," says Regis.
The crowd begins getting restless, so Tirin shoves TC on stage.
"Um hi! Everyone..." says TC. "Oh wait, I'm a character I'm not supposed to break the fourth wall..uh..don't mind me! Just a normal Australian wandering through the Australian outback!"
Suddenly, Lumpy jumps out.
"I'm a wiseman, so you gotta listen to me!" shouts Lumpy. "The government is oppressing you and brainwashing you with toothpaste!"
"Um, what a silly notion," says TC. "Everyone knows Australians don't brush their teeth!"
TC smiles at the crowd as if the joke was funny, but only gets booed.
"We what?" say Maretocks and Andy in unison, coming onto the stage. "We're the uh...Australian government! And you can't talk shit about us!"
They begin beating TC for his insults.
"Ow! Hey! Stop!" says TC. "You're actually hitting me, you're supposed to just pretend!"
Andy and Maretocks throw TC around the stage and beat on him, much to the crowd's amusement. Tirin joins in too. Lumpy keeps ranting, but no one pays attention.
Meanwhile, Coolpool lurks behind stage, suddenly engaging in sociopathic behavior once more.
--
How does Coolpool sabotage the nativity scene?
-collapse the manger onto Regis
-light Tirin on fire
-kick Maretocks in his horse balls
-custom
And you get choose all of them this time you punks
"That sounds awful," says Regis.
The crowd begins getting restless, so Tirin shoves TC on stage.
"Um hi! Everyone..." says TC. "Oh wait, I'm a character I'm not supposed to break the fourth wall..uh..don't mind me! Just a normal Australian wandering through the Australian outback!"
Suddenly, Lumpy jumps out.
"I'm a wiseman, so you gotta listen to me!" shouts Lumpy. "The government is oppressing you and brainwashing you with toothpaste!"
"Um, what a silly notion," says TC. "Everyone knows Australians don't brush their teeth!"
TC smiles at the crowd as if the joke was funny, but only gets booed.
"We what?" say Maretocks and Andy in unison, coming onto the stage. "We're the uh...Australian government! And you can't talk shit about us!"
They begin beating TC for his insults.
"Ow! Hey! Stop!" says TC. "You're actually hitting me, you're supposed to just pretend!"
Andy and Maretocks throw TC around the stage and beat on him, much to the crowd's amusement. Tirin joins in too. Lumpy keeps ranting, but no one pays attention.
Meanwhile, Coolpool lurks behind stage, suddenly engaging in sociopathic behavior once more.
--
How does Coolpool sabotage the nativity scene?
-collapse the manger onto Regis
-light Tirin on fire
-kick Maretocks in his horse balls
-custom
And you get choose all of them this time you punks
All of the above and also poison the free food that Requiem would totally show up for.
I find it hysterical that no one put the two forumers that did acting in the play. Also, I suppose Tirin has nothing better to do since he's involved in Walrus' play?