I MEANT TO SAY YOU DONT GET TO CHOOSE ALL OF THEM AUGHHH
A Christmas CYOA
- Thread starter Colonel Thunder
- Start date
FIRE WALK WITH ME. Let's fucking dance.
"Time to be an edgy sociopath once again!" says Coolpool.
While the crowd is laughing at the silly play everyone's made up, Coolpool sneaks onto the stage and picks up a bundle of straw in the pretend manger.
"What're you up to?" asks Regis, taking a smoke break in the manger.
"I'm going to light this bundle on fire and stuff it down Tirin's shirt," says Coolpool.
"That's really stupid," says Regis, using his cigarette to light Coolpool's straw. "I like it. Have fun dying."
"Oi! You two!" whispers Andy from the main stage. "We're doing a bit on Easy wrestling crocodingos! Bring that fake hippo out here!"
Coolpool and Regis look at the hippo next to them.
"I thought the manger had goats and camels," says Coolpool. "Not a hippo."
"That thing looks really life like..." says Regis nervously. "I think I'll....yip!"
Regis scurries out of the way as the hippo charges Coolpool. The hippo slams into Coolpool, throwing him across the stage. Coolpool drops his flaming straw bundle, which lights all the straw on the floor, catching Regis' tail on fire. Regis yips and barks and runs around the whole room in a ruckus while all the actors cheer on Coolpool's fight with the hippo. The crowd's in hysterics, thinking it's all a part of the show.
Outside, exactly fifty feet away from the building, Walrus hears the laughter and smiles. Though out in the snow, his heart is warmed by his play's success.
Req enjoys watching the show, but thinks things might be getting out of hand. Regis is running around the building, possibly lighting things on fire. And Coolpool looks like he might actually get killed by a hippo.
What does Req do?
-put Regis' tail out
-distract the hippo so Coolpool can run away
-enjoy the show
-custom
While the crowd is laughing at the silly play everyone's made up, Coolpool sneaks onto the stage and picks up a bundle of straw in the pretend manger.
"What're you up to?" asks Regis, taking a smoke break in the manger.
"I'm going to light this bundle on fire and stuff it down Tirin's shirt," says Coolpool.
"That's really stupid," says Regis, using his cigarette to light Coolpool's straw. "I like it. Have fun dying."
"Oi! You two!" whispers Andy from the main stage. "We're doing a bit on Easy wrestling crocodingos! Bring that fake hippo out here!"
Coolpool and Regis look at the hippo next to them.
"I thought the manger had goats and camels," says Coolpool. "Not a hippo."
"That thing looks really life like..." says Regis nervously. "I think I'll....yip!"
Regis scurries out of the way as the hippo charges Coolpool. The hippo slams into Coolpool, throwing him across the stage. Coolpool drops his flaming straw bundle, which lights all the straw on the floor, catching Regis' tail on fire. Regis yips and barks and runs around the whole room in a ruckus while all the actors cheer on Coolpool's fight with the hippo. The crowd's in hysterics, thinking it's all a part of the show.
Outside, exactly fifty feet away from the building, Walrus hears the laughter and smiles. Though out in the snow, his heart is warmed by his play's success.
Req enjoys watching the show, but thinks things might be getting out of hand. Regis is running around the building, possibly lighting things on fire. And Coolpool looks like he might actually get killed by a hippo.
What does Req do?
-put Regis' tail out
-distract the hippo so Coolpool can run away
-enjoy the show
-custom
Req enjoys the show and contemplates how he may be able to stop being homeless if he takes Coolpool's house after he dies.
"Regis!" shouts Req. "Stop, drop, and roll over!"
Regis stops running and looks at Req.
"That's rather demeaning when you put it that way," says Regis, looking cross.
"Aren't you still on fire?" asks Req.
Regis quickly stops drops and rolls, extinguishing the flames. But not before a small, easy-to-miss section of decorations catches on fire.
Meanwhile, Recon and Artist guffaw about the play unfolding.
"This event is turning out great!" says Recon. "What a performance Walrus had put together, this hippo attack looks so realistic!"
"And do you know what the best part is?" says Artist. "Even though we put Walrus in charge of executing the event, we're technically it's administrators! We're responsible for this - our first successful event!"
"We're going to make so much money to put towards the server!" says Recon, celebrating with his friend.
Nearby, Chickensplen nudges Zircom.
"Hey Zircom, isn't that your hippo?" asks Chicken.
"Yeah," says Zircom. "But eh, I don't care. Aspergers can play with Coolpool."
On stage, TC runs to and fro, not sure what to do while all the other actors spectate Coolpool's fight with the hippo.
Coolpool, beginning to lose blood and consciousness, is rescued by the sound of many figures bursting through the door.
"Are we in the roight playce?" asks Father Horseclocks. "Ah, Maretocks there y'are!"
Several bizarre creatures enter City Hall. They are part horse, part clock, and part human. They don't look unlike Maretocks himself, only a bit more rugged.
"Dad! It's good to see you!" says Maretocks, walking up to and embracing his father.
"Hello Mr. Horseclocks," says Andy. "I hope the prison escape wasn't too bad for yeh."
"Non' it all," says Father Horseclocks. "Ah, one bit now."
The hippo mauling Coolpool accidentally bumps into Father Horseclocks.
"' 'eave that tyke alon', you ruddyshack!" says Father Horseclocks, backhanding the hippo.
The hippo gets knocked out and falls on top of Coolpool. The forumers all begin talking amidst themselves and with Maretocks' family. The play is over, and everyone is having a good time.
Tirin glances out a window and sees Walrus shivering in the cold, peering inside as best he can.
----
What does Tirin do?
-give Walrus a pass for the day, and invite him inside
-shut the blinds so Walrus can't see inside
-custom
Regis stops running and looks at Req.
"That's rather demeaning when you put it that way," says Regis, looking cross.
"Aren't you still on fire?" asks Req.
Regis quickly stops drops and rolls, extinguishing the flames. But not before a small, easy-to-miss section of decorations catches on fire.
Meanwhile, Recon and Artist guffaw about the play unfolding.
"This event is turning out great!" says Recon. "What a performance Walrus had put together, this hippo attack looks so realistic!"
"And do you know what the best part is?" says Artist. "Even though we put Walrus in charge of executing the event, we're technically it's administrators! We're responsible for this - our first successful event!"
"We're going to make so much money to put towards the server!" says Recon, celebrating with his friend.
Nearby, Chickensplen nudges Zircom.
"Hey Zircom, isn't that your hippo?" asks Chicken.
"Yeah," says Zircom. "But eh, I don't care. Aspergers can play with Coolpool."
On stage, TC runs to and fro, not sure what to do while all the other actors spectate Coolpool's fight with the hippo.
Coolpool, beginning to lose blood and consciousness, is rescued by the sound of many figures bursting through the door.
"Are we in the roight playce?" asks Father Horseclocks. "Ah, Maretocks there y'are!"
Several bizarre creatures enter City Hall. They are part horse, part clock, and part human. They don't look unlike Maretocks himself, only a bit more rugged.
"Dad! It's good to see you!" says Maretocks, walking up to and embracing his father.
"Hello Mr. Horseclocks," says Andy. "I hope the prison escape wasn't too bad for yeh."
"Non' it all," says Father Horseclocks. "Ah, one bit now."
The hippo mauling Coolpool accidentally bumps into Father Horseclocks.
"' 'eave that tyke alon', you ruddyshack!" says Father Horseclocks, backhanding the hippo.
The hippo gets knocked out and falls on top of Coolpool. The forumers all begin talking amidst themselves and with Maretocks' family. The play is over, and everyone is having a good time.
Tirin glances out a window and sees Walrus shivering in the cold, peering inside as best he can.
----
What does Tirin do?
-give Walrus a pass for the day, and invite him inside
-shut the blinds so Walrus can't see inside
-custom
Shut the blinds. Like hell is Tirin showing mercy to somebody who didn't vote for him and is gonna run against him.
In the spirit of the holidays, and in the interests of seeing Walrus throw a fit at the absolute spectacle unfolding, I let him in.
Tirin thinks about how the year is almost up, and how he hasn't performed his annual good deed (something Wolfy made him promise to do).
"Ahhhh fuck it," says Tirin, opening the door. "Get in here Walrus! You get tonight and tonight only in City Hall!"
Walrus smiles and bounds up the stairs with surprising speed.
"This is gonna be good," thinks Tirin, as Walrus observes the complete clusterfuck of an event.
Walrus takes a moment to take it all in.
"My event..." says Walrus. "It's...it's...BEAUTIFUL!"
"What!?" says Tirin. "S'shitty as hell! Whatever, I'm getting drunk."
Tirin begins looking for booze while Walrus meets and greets Maretocks' family, asking for their vote come election-season.
"This is as good a time as any," says Artist. "Think we should start the fundraiser now while spirits are high?"
"Good idea," says Recon, as the two of them make their way up to the stage.
"Hey everyone!" says Recon loudly. Surprisingly, people pay attention to him. "We wanted to thank you all for coming out tonight on Christmas Eve. Now, while we have your attention, Artist and I wanted to talk a bit about how we can support the server."
"Is something burning?" says Chicken, sniffing the air.
"Anyways," says Artist. "We're asking you to...are those sirens?"
The sound of police sirens fill the air. Suddenly, 13th bursts through the door with a gas mask on, tossing tear gas canisters left and right. It's not long before everyone is in a daze. The gas dissipates, and 13th waves a gun around the crowd.
"Aha!" says 13th. "A secret communist gathering! I finally found the source of that attack on Zircom the other night!"
"But I'm right here," says Zircom.
"A very clever ploy!" says 13th. "But don't think you fooled me! I saw the banner outside, the one that says 'Communist Party!' "
"It says 'Community Party' " defends Walrus. "My boy, this is just a holiday gathering, to which you were invited!"
"What a lousy cover story!" says 13th. "If this is a Christmas party, then why is Bob here?"
"I was promised free food and drink," says Bob, high as a kite. "But so far all I've gotten is disappointment."
"Nice try, but look at all these confirmed criminals!" says 13th, motioning towards Maretocks' family. "This is probably a communist gathering."
"'ait, yer the fuzz!?" asks Father Horseclocks.
"I am a proud Officer of the Law," says 13th nobly. "And it is my duty t-"
"I ain't goin' back to th' slammer!"
"Tickly pickly, let's run!"
Maretocks' family stampedes out the door, fearing further jail-time.
Coolpool, who had just worked his way out from underneath the hippo, gets trampled by the entire lot of them.
13th gets stampeded as well, and painfully stands up again.
"Look 13th," says Easy. "Maybe take it easy and join the fun. Is there anything we can do to make you calm down?"
"Hm..." says 13th. "I suppose if I arrested just the ringleader of this communist event, then I wouldn't have to arrest everyone here."
"That sounds fair," says Easy. "Sadly, the ringleader left early. You might be able to catch him if you-"
"And I know just who the ringleader is!" declares 13th. "For evil anti-Ukraine pro-Soviet crimes against humanity, I am going to arrest..."
---
Who does 13th arrest?
-Walrus
-Recon
-TC
-custom
"Ahhhh fuck it," says Tirin, opening the door. "Get in here Walrus! You get tonight and tonight only in City Hall!"
Walrus smiles and bounds up the stairs with surprising speed.
"This is gonna be good," thinks Tirin, as Walrus observes the complete clusterfuck of an event.
Walrus takes a moment to take it all in.
"My event..." says Walrus. "It's...it's...BEAUTIFUL!"
"What!?" says Tirin. "S'shitty as hell! Whatever, I'm getting drunk."
Tirin begins looking for booze while Walrus meets and greets Maretocks' family, asking for their vote come election-season.
"This is as good a time as any," says Artist. "Think we should start the fundraiser now while spirits are high?"
"Good idea," says Recon, as the two of them make their way up to the stage.
"Hey everyone!" says Recon loudly. Surprisingly, people pay attention to him. "We wanted to thank you all for coming out tonight on Christmas Eve. Now, while we have your attention, Artist and I wanted to talk a bit about how we can support the server."
"Is something burning?" says Chicken, sniffing the air.
"Anyways," says Artist. "We're asking you to...are those sirens?"
The sound of police sirens fill the air. Suddenly, 13th bursts through the door with a gas mask on, tossing tear gas canisters left and right. It's not long before everyone is in a daze. The gas dissipates, and 13th waves a gun around the crowd.
"Aha!" says 13th. "A secret communist gathering! I finally found the source of that attack on Zircom the other night!"
"But I'm right here," says Zircom.
"A very clever ploy!" says 13th. "But don't think you fooled me! I saw the banner outside, the one that says 'Communist Party!' "
"It says 'Community Party' " defends Walrus. "My boy, this is just a holiday gathering, to which you were invited!"
"What a lousy cover story!" says 13th. "If this is a Christmas party, then why is Bob here?"
"I was promised free food and drink," says Bob, high as a kite. "But so far all I've gotten is disappointment."
"Nice try, but look at all these confirmed criminals!" says 13th, motioning towards Maretocks' family. "This is probably a communist gathering."
"'ait, yer the fuzz!?" asks Father Horseclocks.
"I am a proud Officer of the Law," says 13th nobly. "And it is my duty t-"
"I ain't goin' back to th' slammer!"
"Tickly pickly, let's run!"
Maretocks' family stampedes out the door, fearing further jail-time.
Coolpool, who had just worked his way out from underneath the hippo, gets trampled by the entire lot of them.
13th gets stampeded as well, and painfully stands up again.
"Look 13th," says Easy. "Maybe take it easy and join the fun. Is there anything we can do to make you calm down?"
"Hm..." says 13th. "I suppose if I arrested just the ringleader of this communist event, then I wouldn't have to arrest everyone here."
"That sounds fair," says Easy. "Sadly, the ringleader left early. You might be able to catch him if you-"
"And I know just who the ringleader is!" declares 13th. "For evil anti-Ukraine pro-Soviet crimes against humanity, I am going to arrest..."
---
Who does 13th arrest?
-Walrus
-Recon
-TC
-custom
Lumpy. Obviously Lumpy.
Someone tie break please
"Stealthy!" shouts 13th. "This suspicious gathering could only be a part of one of his sinister ploys! Very clever that he chose not to be here himself, but I caught him this time!"
13th runs out the door to apprehend Stealthy at his mansion.
"Wait!" says Walrus, running after 13th. "Don't give Stealthy the credit for my successful event! 13th, wait!"
The two are soon out of earshot, and the festivities resume.
"Hold on, I definitely smell something burning," says Lumpy. "It smells like some of my anti-government devices."
"Those...don't look like Christmas decorations," says Chicken, eyeing the 'decorations' on the wall that Regis had accidentally lit on fire.
"Oh no!" says Firedemon, looking at the wall. "Where did Walrus get those!?"
"Oh, the decorations?" says Tolvan. "Walrus and I grabbed them from that abandoned NFT warehouse! Stealthy let us know there were some great decorations there."
All forumers of even slight intelligence (about half) soon take notice of their situation. All of the Christmas decorations were in fact old NFT bombs disguised to look like wreaths and Christmas trees. They were connected with red and green wires.
"I wonder if all this fake snow is explosives as well," says Zircom, oddly not panicking.
"Nope," says Req, dipping his head in it. "Just cocaine."
"Hey guys, sorry I'm late," says Jeroth walking through the door. He sees quite a scene in front of him as the forumers panic. "I'll uh, come back later," he says, exiting quietly.
Easy quickly traces all the wires and fuses (many of which are currently on fire). They all connect with one source - the large, central Christmas tree.
Easy sees that the bomb's about to go off and springs into action.
...
Stealthy is enjoying some 100 year old scotch when 13th rudely breaks down his door.
"That's expensive," says Stealthy coolly.
"Stealthkill!" shouts 13th. "For lots and lots of crimes - but namely some recent ones - you are under arrest!"
"There are only a few things that can happen if you try to do that," says Stealthy, setting his scotch on a platinum coaster nearby.
---
What does Stealthy do?
-invite 13th to have a drink with him
-convince 13th someone else is guilty of Stealthy's crime
-let the automated defenses take care of 13th
-kill 13th personally
-custom
13th runs out the door to apprehend Stealthy at his mansion.
"Wait!" says Walrus, running after 13th. "Don't give Stealthy the credit for my successful event! 13th, wait!"
The two are soon out of earshot, and the festivities resume.
"Hold on, I definitely smell something burning," says Lumpy. "It smells like some of my anti-government devices."
"Those...don't look like Christmas decorations," says Chicken, eyeing the 'decorations' on the wall that Regis had accidentally lit on fire.
"Oh no!" says Firedemon, looking at the wall. "Where did Walrus get those!?"
"Oh, the decorations?" says Tolvan. "Walrus and I grabbed them from that abandoned NFT warehouse! Stealthy let us know there were some great decorations there."
All forumers of even slight intelligence (about half) soon take notice of their situation. All of the Christmas decorations were in fact old NFT bombs disguised to look like wreaths and Christmas trees. They were connected with red and green wires.
"I wonder if all this fake snow is explosives as well," says Zircom, oddly not panicking.
"Nope," says Req, dipping his head in it. "Just cocaine."
"Hey guys, sorry I'm late," says Jeroth walking through the door. He sees quite a scene in front of him as the forumers panic. "I'll uh, come back later," he says, exiting quietly.
Easy quickly traces all the wires and fuses (many of which are currently on fire). They all connect with one source - the large, central Christmas tree.
Easy sees that the bomb's about to go off and springs into action.
...
Stealthy is enjoying some 100 year old scotch when 13th rudely breaks down his door.
"That's expensive," says Stealthy coolly.
"Stealthkill!" shouts 13th. "For lots and lots of crimes - but namely some recent ones - you are under arrest!"
"There are only a few things that can happen if you try to do that," says Stealthy, setting his scotch on a platinum coaster nearby.
---
What does Stealthy do?
-invite 13th to have a drink with him
-convince 13th someone else is guilty of Stealthy's crime
-let the automated defenses take care of 13th
-kill 13th personally
-custom
Y'know. Typically I'd have just redirected him to somebody else. If I was in a good mood, maybe offered him some scotch while I did so. I'm a fine upstanding capitalist, after all. There's not a communist bone in my body. But then he had to go ahead and break my door.
Autodefenses, kill him. Then fix my door. And send out one of the 13th replica robots to go make some hilarious chaos in his name.
Autodefenses, kill him. Then fix my door. And send out one of the 13th replica robots to go make some hilarious chaos in his name.
Hey guys, sorry I'm late. I'm back from the hol-
Oh.
I'll come back later.
This feels more classy and festive.