CYOA: Let's Not Get Out of Hand

Colonel Thunder

Renowned Blunderer
@Regis wakes up and stretches.

"What shall I do today?" Regis says, admiring his reflection in his water dish. "Let's start things out small."

What will Regis do?

-shit on Shizno's couch
-read the newspaper and drink coffee
-eat breakfast and bark at the TV

Colonel Thunder

Renowned Blunderer
Regis laps up some water, then walks over to the television and pushes the power button with his wet nose.

Only local channels are available on Shizno's shitty TV.

What does Regis watch?

-Painting with Sideshow Bob
-Cooking with TC
-Political discourse with Dunsparce

Colonel Thunder

Renowned Blunderer
Regis pushes the channel button twice, and begins watching Painting with Sideshow Bob.

@The Hound stands on screen with bloodshot eyes and unkempt hair.

"," says Bob, "We'll be painting some....uh..."

Bob fumbles with a joint and continues.

"I'm thinking...corndogs," says Bob, beginning to paint a corndog on a dirty easel. "Man, corndogs are the shit."

"How pathetic," says Regis to the TV. "Bob's composition is terrible. And it looks like he's drawing a penis."

Regis scratches behind his ear and walks into the kitchen. He opens the pantry door and finds an empty bag of dog food.

"Lazy Shizno," growls Regis. "I'll have to improvise."

What will Regis eat for breakfast?

-Shizno's slippers
-Shizno's candy stash
-Shizno's cereal


Well-Known Member
Damn it. I was gonna suggest combining the two somehow, like you could have Sideshow Bob try to paint shit, and then I crash the show and talk shit about the jews or something. It's like that show Punk'd, but way worse.

Also, if this were really Regis, he'd have broken into some philosophical tangent that vaguely betrays his suicidal tendencies by now. Although Regis engaging in hardcore puppy play is well within the bounds of what he'd do.

-Shizno's slippers because I think that'd piss him off more than the other options.

Colonel Thunder

Renowned Blunderer
Regis opens a kitchen cabinet and pulls out the fake back wall. Inside this space, there's a bag full of leftover treats from last year's Halloween.

"This'll teach Shizno to not buy my kibbles," smirks Regis as he drags the bag into the living room.

Regis begins barking at Bob on the TV as he eats Shizno's secret stash.


Meanwhile, Req crawls out of the sewer in downtown, dressed in scuba gear. Jeroth is walking by and sees him.

"Hey Req," says Jeroth. "What's up with the scuba gear?"

"Just got back from Texlantis," says Req, pulling off his flippers. "Just wrapping up some business there."

"You get some of that mermaid puss?" smiles Jeroth.

"You know it man!" says Req, high-fiving Jeroth.

"Now that you're back in town, what do you think you'll do?" asks Jeroth.

What will Req do?

-find more permanent housing
-grab some food at Wolfy's Diner
-sell some loot from Texlantis


God-Emperor of Tealkind
Sell some loot, so he actually has the money to do those first two things. Ain't nobody gonna pull a dine and dash at Wolfy's.
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