Damn it. I was gonna suggest combining the two somehow, like you could have Sideshow Bob try to paint shit, and then I crash the show and talk shit about the jews or something. It's like that show Punk'd, but way worse.
Also, if this were really Regis, he'd have broken into some philosophical tangent that vaguely betrays his suicidal tendencies by now. Although Regis engaging in hardcore puppy play is well within the bounds of what he'd do.
-Shizno's slippers because I think that'd piss him off more than the other options.