Well it means that more people would be upset if I went and died.
I'd say instead of framing it like that, see it for the positive that it is. You are someone who deserves to live and be happy. You have undeniable proof of this fact in your connection with us, with this community.
Believe me, I understand the wanting to die thought. It's not wanting to commit suicide, at least for me it wasn't, but it's about just not wanting to... be. To go from a 1 to a 0, as it were, from being alive to not being alive. It's a tough problem to cope with, but I've found that even when I feel like that, the world doesn't stop. I don't stop being valuable or worthy of appreciation from myself and others. I don't stop being someone worthy of my friends and family's love. I don't stop being someone who deserves to live, no matter how much I might not want to.
Though I've never attempted suicide or heavily considered it, I do have those thoughts. It's important to know that it's okay, these feelings come and go, they're normal. They may not be evidence of proper mental health, no, but it's not wrong to have these thoughts, so long as you don't intend to act upon them. Every person in the world has dark thoughts like these, they are totally normal, as far as I understand it.
I can't say that I've come out of my funk, that would be a lie, but I've found in the last few months that having things to do, things to work on, and pushing for interaction with others, even if it's just online, can help you to get through it, make it not affect you as deeply. Of course getting proper help from a real doctor would be suggested (everyone should have a therapist, honestly), but don't think of your connections with people as being a bad thing. They're good. We would be sad if you died, absolutely, but that means our connection to you should be valued and celebrated.
You're a great person, Coolpool. I know those words might sound hollow, but I do genuinely mean them in every way that might be important to you. You have worth and I want you to be around for years and years to come. You deserve a happy life just as much as I do. We can both get there one day at a time.