Active Get the Cookie
- Thread starter Colonel Thunder
- Start date
Req sat in front of a computer in a darkened room. A small IKEA lamp beside him glowed faintly up into the ceiling, illuminating the area around him. His eyes were tired and his vision bleary. In the next few hours, he'd have to wake up, trudge his way to class, mindlessly write down notes on a story he hadn't read, then go to the one class that really mattered to him and whether or not he graduated college (finally).
He needed to go to sleep. He wanted to. After having slept in for so many hours earlier that Sunday morning, he was still wide awake, even after his shift at the pizza place. He'd put out a post in the Driftmoore thread, sure, but something still felt unfinished. By chance, he'd started looking back through old threads, the forum court in particular. He remembered getting taken to court by Walrus Man for killing the Get The Cookie thread, this thread, actually. He'd plead guilty. That was that. One and done.
Since then, the thread had seen occasional upticks in activity, but it never returned to the former glory it once held. After having read all that he did, as if seeing it for the first time, Req had an idea. He finished reading the GTC thread, clicked the text box at the bottom of the page, and began typing.
- - -
"So the idea is that we reboot the whole thing?"
"Yeah, that's the idea. Sort of like making up for being a depressed, disinterested asshole for a few years."
"I take offense to that."
"Hey, me too, and I'm the one who said it."
"So... everyone has powers? Is that the running idea with this reboot?"
"Well, see, Dunsparce had a really good idea. He had been putting effort into the cookie thread all that time ago and it didn't really get the appreciation it deserved. At least, that's what we both think, right?" The other one nodded in agreement. "So, why not try to make up for a few things at once? All those one line posts were pretty shit. So maybe we reboot the cookie thread, use a great idea from a forumer who didn't get the appreciation he deserved back then, quote it, then go from there?"
"It's a good idea--..."
"Of course I agree."
"... it's a good idea, but let's see how people take to it. Obviously, we both agree, but let's see where things go. Maybe it takes off, maybe it doesn't, but hey, at least we tried, right?"
"Yeah. Give credit where it's due and go from there, right?"
"Right on."
- - -
He typed more. The idea wasn't too elaborate and it didn't need much work, but he still wanted it to be good. One good post wouldn't make up for being a stick in the mud, but it would be something. Maybe. Most of the hard work had been done by people like @Dunsparce and @Walrus, one with the idea of everyone having powers stemming from some sort of event that created the cookie and Walrus for having made the cookie thread so long ago. ("Wait, did he make it? He said he did, right? Or are we misremembering that? Shit, let's just keep going.")
He wondered for a moment on how to end the opening post. Couldn't be just one line, that would defeat the purpose. But then again, making the post any longer threatened to seem like Req was trying to break his own arm jacking off his ego...
- - -
In the beginning, Req used a shitty God metaphor. There was nothing, no time, no space... until there was and then they were always there. They had never not been there. In the void, that utter Maelstrom of space, matter colliding infinitely and expanding further and further in inescapable time, one thing of substance awaited those who would claim it. One thing in all of the infinite cosmos was worth obtaining. Love, friendship, family; even money, fame, and accolades beyond all wild considerations could not measure up to this one all-important artifact of power. Ancient before the multiverse was new and more powerful than infinity plus one:
The Cookie
To describe it would be to court death. To chase it would be to hunt life beyond life. To take it would be pleasure unknown. To lose it would be more than a failure.
Throughout history, nations rose and fell at the power of The Cookie. In their place stood the Forum, proud and strong, but it would not last. The great and terrible Robert Moran, forever the man behind the curtain, dashed the Forum into pieces multiple times, but in the end, The Cookie remained. The Forum remained, for a time, but eventually, infighting caused it to break apart on its own will, but The Cookie remained. After losing a place to call home in all of space and time so frequently, the Forumers were tired, bereft of options save a single good one. They found their way to Mach Entertainment, but The Cookie had disappeared. Days later, now announcing himself as Colonel Thunder, a forumer discovered The Cookie once more and called for the game to begin anew. The rules were simple:
And so the game began once again. Forumers battled, mackerels were hit into faces, The Cookie was stolen, shitty one line posts were made, court cases were heard, guilty verdicts were rendered, and yet still... the Cookie remained.
- - -
Req gingerly crept into Zapy's tank-cycle and pulled the Cookie from his hands. He patted the Forumer on his head and then quietly closed the door of the tank-cycle. The Cookie was his now. "My cookie," he said aloud. He held it in his hands. It felt familiar and yet all too different. He knew it wasn't the Cookie that was different though... it was him. Somewhere along the way, he had felt a stirring within him. He didn't know it, but the same sensation had begun in all other forumers. Abilities, powers, whatever-you-called-thems. They were real, they were there, they could be used.
Req tested the innate sense he had of the change happening within him. He was different, more alive than before, more willing than before. His legs felt lighter, his arms stronger. He felt altogether mobile, but there was something else he could feel... or more importantly, something he had learned, as though an image had been placed in his brain.
He dashed down an alley and found a white piece of fallen rubble. It felt chalky in substance... it would do nicely. Taking the chalky rubble up, Req drew a small circle on a ruined wall of the alley. Though he did not know how he could see the image so clearly, it was obvious what he was doing. It was a spell of some sort, magic. So magic is a thing too, huh? Req drew a few lines within the circle, a handful of other symbols, and then stopped. In the center was a small circle, perfect for the Cookie. He pressed it against the magic circle he had drawn and in a flash of green, the Cookie vanished from sight, tumbling out into the void, the absolute Maelstrom.
"Not my cookie anymore... for now." Req pulled his hat down low then dashed around a corner, out of sight.
Your turns.
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"Okay, I changed my pants!" said TC, running out of his house. "Wow, that's a long post. Must be Req."
TC looks around.
"Let's see...if I was Req, where would I put the cookie."
TC takes out hi cellphone an dials Dunsparce 's number.
"Hey @Dunsparce ," said TC assuming Dunsparce picked up. "If you were Req, where would you put the cookie?"
TC looks around.
"Let's see...if I was Req, where would I put the cookie."
TC takes out hi cellphone an dials Dunsparce 's number.
"Hey @Dunsparce ," said TC assuming Dunsparce picked up. "If you were Req, where would you put the cookie?"
"Outrage! Someone stole the cookie right from under my nose inside my very own Nefarious German Battletankdrivething!" I think aloud to myself still inside my Battletankdrivething. I start cruising towards my evil lair of nefarious business. I put the kickstand down and exit my Battletankdrivething. "Surely I can find out who did this evil act of impeding my nefarious and imperial take over of precious war materials by taking not my cookie." I say as I activate my super spy listening and broadcasting device and I hear, "Hey @Dunsparce , if you were Req, Where would you put the cookie?" Clear as day coming from none other than the man himself @Colonel Thunder . I listen intently to the conversation that follows.
Dunsparce does not reply. TC waits patiently.
I steal the cookie.
My cookie.
My cookie.
D
Deleted member 13
Guest
Unregsistered User
I summon the power of continuity errors and enter the next frame with the cookie in my possession.
My cookie.
My cookie.
D
Deleted member 13
Guest
Unregsistered User
I can manage the punch in the gut because I still have the cookie.
I sort of want to eat the cookie, but it's several years old by now and probably doesn't taste very good. I keep the cookie in my pocket.
My cookie.
I sort of want to eat the cookie, but it's several years old by now and probably doesn't taste very good. I keep the cookie in my pocket.
My cookie.
I look you in the eyes as I dig into your pocket.
My pocket lint.
My pocket lint.
D
Deleted member 13
Guest
Unregsistered User
I take the banana out of my pocket and thank God that no one noticed my actual erection. Then I trick Tirin into giving me the cookie using a very elaborate sequence of paperwork.
My cookie.
My cookie.
I like the unprecedented surge of activity in this thread after a particularly dead period.
I steal Dunsparce's cookie, but Regis still has the OG cookie.
I steal Dunsparce's cookie, but Regis still has the OG cookie.
Uh, that was only pocket lint my dude.
I steal the cookie-infused mackerel.
My cookie-infused mackerel.
My cookie-infused mackerel.
I hit you in the face with a donut.
My cookie.
My cookie.