[ADULT] Star Wars Episode VIII - The Last Jedi

Requiem

Well-Known Member
Member
Phasma was brought back just to kill her off. They easily could have had her chase after Finn and Rose without any trouble to the plot. Just have their ship jump away and then have Hux tell Phasma to follow it, come up with a reason to send just her and a squad of troopers. Have them get chased through casino town, Phasma loses them, everything happens exactly the same, suggest that Del Toro's character met with someone (Phasma) off screen, but everything that happens on his ship happens the same way as well.

Boom, they sneak onto Snoke's ship, try to stop the tracker, Phasma captures them, fight happens, Phasma dies, plot doesn't change at all.

Wasted potential for no reason.

Other than that, holy shit, the rest of the film was pretty great. I'm sure I'll think of some things I didn't like after thinking about it, but most of it was a total surprise. The trailers didn't actually give anything away.

The fact that no one says anything about Leia using the Force to survive the vacuum of space and blow down a door though? Super fucking weird. She went full Force user and everyone was just like, "Yeah, okay, let's get her to the medbay, this is normal."
 

AndyM03

Well-Known Member
Member
+1 to any criticism of Phasma and that plot line in general.

I saw a comment that Finn and Rey were the heart and soul of TFA, and as a big fan of that one I did miss that chemistry.

Kylo Ren is 100% the best character in the series for me right now. I really loved every scene with him. The force connection talks between him and Rey were a fantastic idea. Their fight against the Imperial guards was the best fight scene in Star Wars full stop, don't dm me.

There were a lot of flaws in this movie. But I did not mind them. It was a solid 8 or 8.5 out of 10 instead of the 9 I was hoping it to be. Someone said that this movie had both the best and worst scenes in Star Wars history, which might be right.

And oh my god how good was having cheeky yoda again! The prequels really butchered him. I loved having that cheeky fuck back for a bit. And they used a puppet instead of CGI which looked good, albeit a bit odd!
 

Requiem

Well-Known Member
Member
Oddly enough, I never really felt any sort of tug or pull to see Finn and Rey reunite. Call me crazy, I love them together, they're great, but I also really loved Rose just being a rando who got swept up in the legend. Her non Force view of being one of the little people of the galaxy, as well as the resistance, shines through the whole movie and ties things together, mostly because of two things: the kids in casino town (the force user kid especially who felt an affinity for the animals and was clearly defending them with his friends) and Rey discovering that her parents were nobodies who probably just left her behind (even if that ultimately ends up not being the case).

If the movie had Rose as just some rando and her themes didn't tie into any of the other themes, she would have fallen flat, but with her connection to the children and also to Rey in the same way, she becomes a really great part of the movie and the new era of the story we find ourselves in. You don't have to have special blood to be a hero, you just have to want to be a hero and chase after it.

The disbanding of the old jedi ways also ties into this because it takes away all of that nonsense about midichlorians and being the chosen one and a prophecy to balance the force, on top of simply saying, "Let the Force be what it is, let it flow through you, accept it, if you need it, you'll have the strength necessary to overcome evil." Instead of relying on ancient Jedi wisdom or making the Force "grey" like everyone thought would happen, we get more of a "grey" idea that the light side is good, the dark side is bad, but why does that have to be all that important? Why does it need to have this overwhelming weight to it that it always did?

It doesn't fundamentally change what we know of the Force, there still is the light and the dark and there always will be, but it helps force users (and the audience to an extent) to understand that you don't need the hokey religion side of things to be an element of what the Jedi and Sith are. Force users can be anyone. Heroes can come from anywhere and even if you come from a long line of heroes, you can also turn to the dark side. Nothing is set in stone. Yes, Anakin balanced the Force by killing Palpatine, but it didn't go the way the Jedi thought it would at all. The Old Jedi Order was burned away, leaving only Obi-Wan and Yoda, with Luke in the middle next to Vader and Palpatine. With four out of five of these people gone, leaving only Luke as the Last Jedi, you can see that split shown very clearly. Luke is just a guy, he was just a farmhand. He wasn't destined to do anything great, but he ended up doing it anyway.

And then he failed after that. He tried to rebuild the jedi, tried to do something he shouldn't. Then he saw the dark side, conflict, growing within his nephew and like any human being who can see true evil, he himself became conflicted. Standing over Ben and accidentally turning on his lightsaber? That wasn't a failure of the Force or the Jedi teachings, it was the failure of an old man, a normal man who let his instincts control him for a millisecond that changed the course of history.

Seeing the tree burn down as a symbolic gesture of Yoda agreeing with this idea, that the Jedi can be more than what they were when they were destroyed by embracing their humanity, helps tie the entire movie together in a great way. Rose connects to the kids, the kids connect to Rey, Rey connects to Luke, Luke connects to the Jedi teachings, the teachings connect to the true nature of the Force and now our new perspective on something we've always "known" as an audience, and that new perspective connects to how we view who each of these characters are and what they can or will do and have done.

Kylo, for example, and Snoke's ultimate failure. The two of them are the true Last vestiges of that old way of seeing the Force, that it's this overwhelming power that gives someone an ultimate destiny no matter how hard you might fight against it. Kylo made the decision to kill Han, but he didn't kill his mother. He killed Snoke, but also tried to kill Rey and Luke. He's in a bit of both worlds, but Snoke thought he could control Kylo, that Kylo was powerful because of his blood, like Anakin before him. By being unable to see that Kylo could very easily betray him and even failing to literally see the betrayal happening right in front of his eyes, Snoke showed how stuck he was in the old way of seeing the force, just like the Jedi were before Vader/Palpatine killed them all.

This is a long post so I'll stop waxing poetic, but in closing, I wanna say I like this change. The Jedi aren't ever going to die, but allowing the past to be burnt away in all aspects of the canon is an excellent move. It allows the Jedi to become essentially heroes again, not tied down to politics, religion, or foolish ideology. Fearing the Dark Side and its power is what killed the Old Jedi and Luke's sect of the Old Jedi as well, to put it that way.

By changing the way we see the Force and also figuratively/literally burning away the past, we get a new, fresh take on what Star Wars can be, where it'll go, and who we're allowed to see become important. It's extremely fitting that the Phantom Menace opens with the Skywalker name resting in the hands of one little boy and then in Episode 9, that same name (or blood) is carried on by one young man, potentially the last descendant of Anakin (Leia counts too, sure, but she'll most likely be dead come the opening of the next film, so eh). Sure, Kylo is the Supreme Leader now and has absolutely gone Dark Side almost fully, but he's still carrying the flame that Anakin lit.

It's also interesting to see that Kylo is the one who continually refers to burning the past down, killing it. He takes the same lesson that the audience and Luke learn in this film and warps it, twisting it. It's the same exact lesson and he uses it to destroy Snoke, yes, but as the Dark Side always has, it twists the truth into an angry, bitter version of itself. It's still the truth, but it's wrong in a paradoxical way. Kylo knows he should just become Ben again, he knows he should join Rey, not the other way around. In his mind, he's still the grandson of Darth Vader. He's still meant to finish what Vader started, or so he thinks. He doesn't hate what the Emperor did, he doesn't hate the idea of the Jedi dying completely. He didn't truly learn his lesson of letting the past get burnt away.

In the end, and this is really the end of the post now, the message of this movie in particular, not star wars as a whole, is that you have a past, you have a history, but it shouldn't define you. You can always surpass it. You can always become greater than what came before you, you don't have to hold onto it rigidly and conform to a certain set of ideals. You just have to keep moving forward, live, create, trust yourself, fail, learn from those failures, and never stop because life itself never stops. The Force never stops. The good guys learned this lesson. The bad guys didn't. As complicated as I made this post, I think that's the simplest way to boil down what I've said. It's not about the infinite tug of war between the light and the dark, the jedi and the sith, but in simply being alive and happy, whether you've got the Force or not. Kylo will never be happy until he can give up the things that are forcing him to stay committed to the Dark side and that is what will ultimately end him. His failure to accept his humanity, no matter what magic shit he can do.

In summary, nah, I liked Rose, she was pretty cool. Finn didn't need to be tied to Rey. That's neat.
 

Tirin

God-Emperor of Tealkind
Moderator
I've been avoiding this thread like the plague for fear of spoilers. Got some thoughts.

1) Putting the cruiser into hyperspace and using it as a projectile is a great idea; I've thought of it before, and have been thoroughly surprised that nobody used it. Great force multiplier (in this case, a cruiser fuckstarting a flagship) and the way it was portrayed was fucking awesome.

2) The scene near the end where Luke showed up had me extremely pleased with the obvious savaging that Kylo was going to get. For a bit, I thought that Luke was there in person (though the fire he took dispelled that illusion), but him becoming one with the Force in the same fashion as Obi-Wan after echoing his line would've been pretty fitting. Him becoming one with the Force on his own terms (after making peace with his mistakes) was pretty cool, I thought - he didn't need to be there in person to be struck down, just to accept himself and his mistakes and come to understand that things could go on without his physical tutelage. I don't think it was so much of a case of "oh no, I used too much Force energy and I'm just fucked now".

3) I think that Rey being related to Obi-Wan was a missed plot point (though, of course, her family isn't definitively elaborated on). Her turning down Kylo's offer to rule the galaxy through the First Order was, to me, extremely reminescent of Obi-Wan turning down Anakin in Revenge of the Sith, and I though it would have been the perfect opportunity to relate that.

4) Snoke is chrash; get btfo by your horrible smugness, you ugly backstory-less motherfucker.

I'd like (indeed, expect) to see Luke and possibly Anakin make appearances as Force ghosts; I feel that Kylo is going to need more guidance on how to not be a complete fuckup, and with Snoke gone that can only come from a few (deceased) sources or a new villain yet to be introduced. Despite (or possibly because of) his power, it's obvious that Kylo is a brawn before brains kind of guy - he's better-suited to be the Vader to somebody's Sidious, rather than take over the whole thing himself. That said, he pretty consistently outplayed General Hux - I especially enjoyed "The Supreme Leader is dead"; "Long live the Supreme Leader".

Then again, it could be that we'll see what happens when somebody who is effectively only valuable as a military strategist takes control of a galactic "nation" - an empire without effective authority beyond a large military budget and tax flow. It'd be an interesting angle to take, but I'd be surprised if they did that - even though the movie itself criticized the "military-industrial complex" idea in having characters hate on the war profiteers of Canto Bight.
 

Requiem

Well-Known Member
Member
That's why I love Palpatine. Yeah, he was a villain through and through and he did a lot of what he did based on hate and malice, but he was also an effective ruler. He wasn't a leader, but he brought the galaxy together and was the main reason that the Jedi have this current opportunity that they do to become something new, something more than the old Jedi teachings forced them to adhere to.

He was smart and willing to actually take care of what he created. He could do the politics of things and let the military he created essentially run itself effectively without his input. Now, it looks like Hux and Kylo are gonna have to do double duty on that front because neither of them are anywhere close to being Palpatine's equal in terms of being a leader or a dark side user, Kylo double tipping on this front.

I think the prequels are gonna get more love after this trilogy is done with. The movies themselves are still trash, but the things they do well get to shine even harder because of the revelations this new trilogy are giving us and that's awesome.
 

Requiem

Well-Known Member
Member
Oh and two more things, small things.

I agree with you, Tirin, on Snoke and the use of the ship as a weapon. Snoke's background was literally never revealed. We don't know how or why the first order is cool with him ruling them. We just know he had a good grasp of the force, specifically the dark side, and that he was the Supreme Leader. Just really weird, that.

As of the ship, that was a great move and a fucking great scene, but I really wish they had thought of it sooner. I like that Admiral Holt, was that her name? I like that the Admiral thought of it and it ultimately saved the day, but they could have launched the transports hours before then and then sacrificed the flagship.

Of course that's not ideal, but it just seemed strange that something like that didn't happen sooner. Ultimately it comes down to the Admiral biding her time so that they were forced into an even deeper corner than they were in before, but still, as awesome as it was, I just felt the writing could have been stronger on the "attrition chase scene" as a whole.
 
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Null Hypothesis

Well-Known Member
Donor III
I like your guys points. I'll leave my own.

First my initial complaints, I'm sure I might have more after a few more viewings, but over all these are forgivable.

1. The sheer incompetence of General Hux at the very beginning. The one X-Wing stand off was so blatantly obvious a distraction. I mean come on! I realize he was over confident having the rebels severely out gunned and immobile, but still why did they do absolutely nothing when speaking over comms? They could have launched fighters or have been maneuvering their destroyers into better positions. Speaking of fighters why didn't their ships immediately launch fighters the instant they dropped out of hyperspace they should have known the rebels would mostly have light attack craft and they would have been well aware the dreadnought wasn't capable of dealing with such. Even if they didn't think the Rebels had any light fighters a fighter screen should be common practice in the First Order Navy, especially given how vulnerable ships are when they drop out of hyperspace. They usually need time to activate shields and guns after a hyperspace jump.

Second, why did the dreadnought take formation at the front of the fleet? The destroyers are escorts and they cant do that job from the side lines.

Third, where was the dreadnoughts shield? One can argue Poe was able to fly under the shield dome before they were able to activate it after the jump since most ships in Star Wars cant jump with their shields engaged. Or the shield simply couldn't stop ships from moving through it, but could stop incoming fire from outside the dome. Some shields ships will crash into while other ships have shields where ships can pass through.

Fourth, the armor on the dreadnoughts turrets seemed very weak, blowing up after just a few hits.

At least Snoke was pissed at Hux for how poorly that engagement went.

2. As I mentioned before the complete waste of Captain Phasma's character. She shows up two hours into the movie and has thirty seconds of screen time. I'm pretty sure every shot of her in the movie was already in the trailers except her death. I suppose they could make some excuse that she survived because she somehow made it out of a trash compactor before a planet exploded. I suppose falling into fire wearing blaster proof armor could be something you could survive. At this point I'm over the character though. they had two chances to sell me on this character and failed both times.

Sorry for the rant, the rest of the movie made up for these and I did really enjoy it.

The stuff I did like in no particular order.

1. The freaking bombing run at the dreadnought! I felt like I was watching some weird sci-fi WWII air raid, with faux B-17s and escorts. I really loved ho the whole thing was shot with the crews running back and fourth on walkways and ladders and ships are getting tore to pieces as bomb bays are breached by enimy fire.

2. That it wasn't a rehashing of a previous movie. Looking at you VII. I didn't mind that Force Awakens was safe, but I'm glad they were able to grow a pair and do something new.

3. Rose. I wasn't sure of her at first, but I really cared about her character at the end.

4. Space Vegas! I'm glad this setting finally made it into a film. Some sort of huge gambling city/planet/spaceship shows up in the old EU books all the time, I'm so glad we got a taste of it on the big screen.

5. Luke's explanation of the force and him admitting how messed up the Jedi Order really was. This was touched on in the Clone Wars cartoon, but the old EU books played with the idea first and explored it a lot more than the show did. They did a lot of messed up things, even Luke has a kill count that would make Hitler go home and rethink his life. Luke also never mentioned Midiclorians so that's also a win.

6. Rey and Kylo's force bond. Had some flashbacks to Revan and Bastila from KOTOR and anything that can remind me of KOTOR is doing something right. I really liked how Rey and Kylo were almost always mirrored. Heck even Snoke says Rey's light mirrors Kylo's darkness.

7. I actually liked that Kylo killed Snoke. Sure it was predictable and Snoke totally should have been on guard for that, rule of two and all that. I think it was the character development for both Rey and Kylo that came out of it that made me like the scene so much. The battle with the guards after was great too.

8. Kylo Ren. Force Awakens he starts off really cool. Stopping a blaster bolt in mid air! then he took his helmet off and got really whiny. In The Last Jedi, Kylo's character arc is getting pretty cool and he felt dangerous through out the whole movie.

9. The wanna-be battle of Hoth. it starts out looking pretty much the same, but then it completely changes direction. So much symbolism was in the use of the planet's ascetic with the blood red hidden under the white top layer. Some really cool cinematography with that battle.

10. Hyperspace suicide run. Cool idea made over the top with how they shot it.

11. I liked that Rey's parents were nobody's. Movie's saying that you don't need some epic tier bloodline to be a hero. Luke even attributes his heroic status and bloodline to be the reason he ultimately failed.

This movie was one of the first to really get what, "the balance of the force" Jedi and Sith like to bring up left and right, really means. Jedi were always implying bringing balance to the force meant they killed all the Sith. The Sith fell more into the, "fuck the balance," camp. This movie the Darkside was constantly mirrored buy the Lightside. You had Luke and Snoke, then Rey and Kylo. By the end Luke and Snoke were both dead keeping the balance.

I'm sure there will be more stuff I end up liking and disliking after the film has time to age, but oval it was well worth the price of admission.
 

Colonel Thunder

Renowned Blunderer & Dishonorary Czech
Member
I'm stealing this comment from a random redditor, but it really resonated with me.

I feel like the film focused heavily on subverting my expectations instead of building a cohesive, comprehensive storyline.

My expectations were successfully subverted many times, but I would have preferred not to have story bits, character arcs, and conflicting themes mish-mashed across the film.

I'm hoping that the setup for IX pays off, because to me right now TLJ seems like an awkward middle chapter that will bridge two great movies.

That being said it was still fun to watch and amazing at parts, but I've never had so many small complaints since the prequel trilogy.
 

Jeroth

Mach Ambassador
Moderator
All right. Having just seen the movie, let me chime in.

I wasn't a fan. I didn't leave the theatre excited like I did in TFA. I griped about TFA playing it too safe.

First off: How long was that movie? I checked my watch three times towards the end to try to figure out when it would be over. It didn't feel like an epic story, it felt bloated. The passing of time felt weird too. Rey was hanging out for 3-4 days at Luke's Hermit Planet while everything on the Rebels side took a day?

So we had three plots in the movie:

Kylo Ren - Rey - Luke [ The Force]
Finn - Rose - BB8 [ Rebel Rebels]
Holt - Poe - Leia? [Rebels]

The Force

* Luke - It was interesting to see what happened to Luke and I think arguably the most controversial bit from this movie in terms of like/dislike.
* Kylo Ren - Hands down the best character of the series and Adam Driver's acting is the only thing driving me to go see the next movie.
* Rey - I find it interesting that she was so eager to tumble down the dark side, but hey. That's what usually happens to protagonists in these movies.

Overall, Rey meets Luke. Luke comically tosses the lightsaber before being yelled at by Chewie and reluctantly deciding to teach her. If you count teaching as fucking with her about the force and not actually giving advice when she stumbles down the "dark side" too hastily. Maybe go: "Hey, Rey. That's bad news bears don't do it." But nah, Luke storms off and says he's scared... and continues to teach her like it's no big deal. Kylo Ren and Rey awkwardly butt dial each other through the force a bunch of times and get exposition, but I'm really happy about that. It added an interesting connection between the two. Rey stubbornly leaves after stealing the Jedi Texts and Luke takes a page of Ellie Goulding's book and wants to burn it up. Yoda decides to show up and do it anyway and Luke treats it as if Yoda comes to see him every Friday. No excitement or awe, just "Oh hey." Rey and Ren go to Snoke. Snoke is shown to be super strong and interesting and he's dead. Damn. I know his hubris was downfall, but the dude couldn't be like: "Lemme just hold this lightsaber here in case my sith apprentice doesn't try to rule of two me right now." Whatever, Adam Driver is driving the plot now [There we go, better use of this plot]. Admiral/General/Bitch Boi Hux tries to Starscream Kylo Ren, but then submits. They follow the rebels to the planet where we host our mafia games. Ren and Luke tumble in salt before Ren is left salty that Luke force PRANK'd him from a galaxy away.

This is the part of the movie that I thought was good aside from the odd comedic moment, such as: Luke casually/comically tossing the lightsaber and walking off or Rey flustered that Kylo Ren just finished showering after feeling the burn on those sick guns of his.

The Rebels Rebels

Fuck this story sucked so much. Finn comically wakes up and is turned into a gag as he leaks fluid. He's awake just in time to find out how fucked the Rebels are and he decides to bounce after trying to evade a sad crying mechanic. Her name is Rose and she has a bit of hero worship. She stuns Finn before they come up with plans with Poe [More reasons on why I'm mad about this later] and they contact Moss or whomever from the ship. She's doing something crazy in a gunfight - oh cool! It's probably because she's a rebel and they're fighting the Fi- oh. no. Trade dispute. Okay. Well. She's distractingly agile and I have no idea how she's transmitting since it's showing her full body tumbling. This is just odd and unnecessary. Okay. Time to find the hacker. We pass by the Future Duck Boats where they go from sea to sky and they park on the beach where an alien witness is needed for a traffic violation. Tumbling into this gambling area and I'm shocked there's no Hutt. It would be a perfect cameo and they let me down there. Finn and Rose run around and instead of searching harder, they realize: "oh no. The wealthy here are war profits. Dey are so mean!" They find the guy only to get stunned by the cops and arrested for a traffic violation. Really? Jail for that? They meet a really cool hacker dude who is shady. To step aside from ranting, I thought the character was pretty cool. Prison break for the humans. Prison break for the weird creatures. Rose and Finn are about to get caught and she's happy she saved the animals rather than the SLAVE CHILDREN WHO JUST HELPED THEM A FEW MINUTES AGO. Nah, Hacker guy shows up. Apparently BB8 and him stole a ship. They leave and Finn gets mad that a mercenary doesn't accept word over value. They disguise themselves (how) and get on board. They hack the place but oh no. It was a ruse. They are caught. Oh hey, Phasma exists. That's cool. Oh hey, Hacker guy betrayed them after he harped about how you shouldn't pick a side. That's expected but carries no weight whatsoever. Oh hey, the AT-ST is firing and oh. It's BB8. Not Hacker guy trying to reap the reward of being paid by rebels and imperials. Well, okay BB8. Okay, Finn is fighting Phasma and he's being sassy and calling her chrome dome. He ends up getting the high ground by luck, spits a one liner, slashes Phasma and then she falls into a flaming pit. They boogie back to the salt planet that doesn't have a name and get cornered. They come up with a ragtag plan and Finn decides to try to martyr himself for the rebellion BUT OH NO HERE COMES ROSE. Rose has the brilliant idea of ALMOST KILLING THEM BOTH by crashing into Finn to "Save him." Because we need to save the things we love. She says, kisses him as the base is FUCKING DYING behind them. Like, Admiral Pink Hair just did her suicide trick and everyone thought it was heroic. Rose, you're a mechanic. Piss off. You just led to more people dying and almost killed the both of you. Jesus. Anyway, they escape because ice foxes and now the rebellion is on a single ship.

God damn it, I hated this story. I spent more time with my date during this part of the movie.

Anyway, I need to head out, so I'll post this for now. You'll have to wait for the third act of this review for when I get back.
 

Tirin

God-Emperor of Tealkind
Moderator
First off: How long was that movie? I checked my watch three times towards the end to try to figure out when it would be over. It didn't feel like an epic story, it felt bloated. The passing of time felt weird too. Rey was hanging out for 3-4 days at Luke's Hermit Planet while everything on the Rebels side took a day?
Agreed for too long, but given that TFA was of similar length I think it just distributed it pretty badly - namely in the Finn-Rose plot. Bonus sucks for how it was a shaggy dog story.

Rey stubbornly leaves after stealing the Jedi Texts and Luke takes a page of Ellie Goulding's book and wants to burn it up. Yoda decides to show up and do it anyway and Luke treats it as if Yoda comes to see him every Friday. No excitement or awe, just "Oh hey."
Dude's lived on the island for who knows how the fuck long. I get the feeling that... he did see Yoda, Obi-Wan, and the b'ys somewhat regularly.

Snoke is shown to be super strong and interesting and he's dead. Damn. I know his hubris was downfall, but the dude couldn't be like: "Lemme just hold this lightsaber here in case my sith apprentice doesn't try to rule of two me right now."
I've gotta say, it was painfully obvious and makes me kinda think he was a little wasted as a character. Then again, even Palpatine got too proud when it came to dunking on people, and he ended up dying to his Skywalker apprentice, too. Not sure how "strong" I'd really say Snoke is, by the way - to me he came across as more of an oracular type, a guy with a lot of knowledge and specialized techniques, instead of someone who just fucked people up.

They follow the rebels to the planet where we host our mafia games. Ren and Luke tumble in salt before Ren is left salty that Luke force PRANK'd him from a galaxy away.
Oof. Not incorrect, but the Force btfo was pretty good. Also showed how fucking spooked Kylo was by Luke, not that he shouldn't be. And, I gotta say, I liked the focus on how Luke, much like Snoke, knows useful and intricate techniques instead of just chimping out; for prettymuch the entire scene I was wondering "when the fuck is Luke gonna show up and how is he gonna save some asses", and I was satisfied with how.

This is the part of the movie that I thought was good aside from the odd comedic moment, such as: Luke casually/comically tossing the lightsaber and walking off or Rey flustered that Kylo Ren just finished showering after feeling the burn on those sick guns of his.
I thought some of the comedy helped balance it out, but I have to admit Luke just tossing his daddy's (and, you know, his own) old lightsaber back from when he was a Jedi/Luke was a baby Jedi like it ain't shit was kinda jarring.

The Rebels Rebels

Fuck this story sucked so much.
YEET

We pass by the Future Duck Boats where they go from sea to sky and they park on the beach where an alien witness is needed for a traffic violation. Tumbling into this gambling area and I'm shocked there's no Hutt. It would be a perfect cameo and they let me down there. Finn and Rose run around and instead of searching harder, they realize: "oh no. The wealthy here are war profits. Dey are so mean!"
Hutts are filthy, stinking crimelords that would never be allowed around polite society. I thought Space Monaco as a setting (even though temporary) was pretty fucking fly, though.[/QUOTE]

They meet a really cool hacker dude who is shady. To step aside from ranting, I thought the character was pretty cool.
I thought he wasn't bad, but some of his lines really needed to get worked on for some of that mumbling. Gotta say, he was a lot cooler on the planet than he was afterwards.

Oh hey, Hacker guy betrayed them after he harped about how you shouldn't pick a side. That's expected but carries no weight whatsoever.
Yeah... I didn't like how that was portrayed as a fucking plant by the First Order, though, since it would imply that they somehow knew about the plan (seems pretty unlikely) and that "playing both sides" guy wasn't even actually playing both sides.

They come up with a ragtag plan and Finn decides to try to martyr himself for the rebellion BUT OH NO HERE COMES ROSE. Rose has the brilliant idea of ALMOST KILLING THEM BOTH by crashing into Finn to "Save him." Because we need to save the things we love. She says, kisses him as the base is FUCKING DYING behind them. Like, Admiral Pink Hair just did her suicide trick and everyone thought it was heroic. Rose, you're a mechanic. Piss off. You just led to more people dying and almost killed the both of you. Jesus.
Gotta agree, Rose was so fucking terrible here (and... pretty bad in general, really). Also Finn should be fucked anyways after taking radiation to the face like that, but my guess is he'll be totally fine. The only real reason for this was to set up the First Order getting jebaited by Luke, but "miniaturized Death Star tech" really didn't have to come into the plot at all. For that matter, if the First Order had access to that... aren't they exactly the sort of shitty dudes to mount that on every ship they have and blow up planets? Man, some of the questions they leave open with these plot points make no sense.
 

Null Hypothesis

Well-Known Member
Donor III
I feel after further review I must amend my original review. Specifically where I stated that the film wasn't a rehashing of a previous film. I was wrong, it's basicly Empire Strikes Back chopped up rearranged and glued back together with extra padding.

Small group of rebels on the run from evil Empire

Newbie Jedi hero goes off on their own to look for legendary master.

Master starts off reluctant to train newbie.

There's some dark side force cave where the newbie does something against masters will.

A couple of rebels split off if the main group to get help from dubious outsider.

Dubious outsider betrays rebels who sought out help.

Newbie leaves before they're ready to confront nemesis.

There's some shocking revelation about newbies parents.

Nemesis offers to rule the galaxy side be side with newbie.

Newbie refuses offer and escapes.

And they threw in the battle of Hoth at the end instead of the beginning this time.
 
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