Who we are as a community

Requiem

Well-Known Member
Member
I'll have to read more in detail later I'm at work now. Sorry everybody, but I'll respond tonight.
 

AndyM03

Well-Known Member
Member
I've been avoiding this thread on purpose, and i've only skimmed it so I don't have much to say. I agree mostly with what Milamber said, and those similar to him, Easy, Tirin and Lumpy. Tirin has always been swift in removing things that looked like genuine racism or bigotry, and for the most part people are quick to apologise if we do say "Hey you crossed a line". (Unless we're in the middle of a mafia game haha).

I don't see the point in any extra rules, for a community of our size the existence of this thread and the words said should be enough. I think we should be respectful that harassment has occurred on these forums before, (well, on urealms), and we shouldn't make light of where this thread and certain advocates are coming from, but again, I don't think change is needed. I prefer culture change over legislature change, and TC's Wholesome mafia game has been a hilarious way of doing it, to an extent.
 

Elliot

Confirmed Robot
Member
I don't think a single person in here has been suggesting extra rules or a legislative change or whatever, but I get you.
 

Requiem

Well-Known Member
Member
Yeah, no rules based changes, just doing our best as people to try and be even better than we have been lately towards exchange other.
 

Shadow

Well-Known Member
Banned
Alright, I think I'm basically caught up now. Most of what I say may end up rehashing what other people have said, but I'mma throw my two cents in anyway cuz why the hell not. I apologize in advance if this ends up ramble-y as fuck or doesn't make sense. Work is kicking my ass and I'm tired as balls.

In regards to slinging highly offensive words around all the time just for the hell of it, I think it's safe to say we as a community have more or less stopped doing that, or are at least attempting to stop, partially because I think we've all grown up and we understand that baggage the comes along with those words, but also because I think we've realized that we don't have a particular need to say them, and honestly, we never did. I think back to the whole niggerfaggot fiasco, and I honestly have no idea why we fought so hard and got so butthurt about it when our reason for wanting to say those words was basically "dis r da interwebz fuk da poh-leese". It wasn't like we were writing the script for Django Unchained and Danny wouldn't let us use the word "lovable black man", even though doing so would serve to create a better illustration of how society was at the time. I know, for me personally, at least, that while I have no particular conviction about actually saying those words, I've pretty much removed them from my every day vocabulary because I have no reason to say them. Throwing around offensive language left, right, and center doesn't add anything to what I'm trying to say. It just makes me look like an insensitive prick.

Here are my thoughts on the use of the word "autistic". I feel like "autistic" is becoming the new word that, not just us, but the internet in general, has abandoned/forgotten the meaning of, and are instead using it as a synonym to describe something that is stupid or unpleasant, like "gay" or "lame" or "jewish". I feel like the reason that we are more sensitive to such use of the word "autistic" is because it's still relatively new and it hasn't become ingrained into society in the way that words like "gay" have, and also because "gay" was ingrained into society long before we all collectively developed a conscience and realized that using those words in such a way probably isn't a good thing. Personally, I can't think of a time where I, or anybody else for that matter, have ever used the word "gay" in place of "stupid" and meant it in a way that was offensive to homosexuals. Essentially, the meaning of the word has changed over time. As such, I have no particular conviction about continuing to use it that way. I tend to feel the same way about "autistic" as well. That said, I fully understand that not everyone will share this view, and I will try to refrain from saying it in the presence of those people.

I have no opinion whatsoever on whether or not traps are gay. I missed that meme, but from what I've seen, I honestly don't care about it. Whether or not traps are gay has no impact on my life whatsoever, and I'm not going to bother wasting the time and energy trying to formulate an opinion. Moving on.

As many others have said, I feel that making jokes at other people's expense, even if the joke could be construed as offensive, is fine as long as the person on the receiving end fine with being the butt of said joke. For example, there was a black guy whom I used to work with who was perfectly okay with everybody else calling him a lovable black man, because he understood that we were using that word as a term of endearment towards him, and that it was not meant to be negative towards black people whatsoever. That said, I understand Wolfy's point about outsiders who are not privy to our inside jokes misunderstanding our intentions. I would completely understand if a complete stranger walked into my workplace and thought we were all a bunch of racist assholes; however, I would hope that once we explained the context of said joke to this person, that, while they may not feel comfortable participating in the joke themselves, they would at least realize that we aren't terrible people for making it. Additionally, if that person still felt offended by said joke, even though the guy on the receiving end literally does not give a single shred of a fuck, then I would tell them that it's not their place to feel that way, and that they need to stop being so overly sensitive. That said, if the person who is on the receiving end of the joke has a problem with it, they need to feel confident that we will respect their wishes and let the joke drop. This is something that we as a community have historically been terrible at, myself included.

However, there are certain times when we shouldn't have to be told that making certain jokes just isn't okay. For example, there is a guy I work with who, for lack of a better term, is my workplace's version of TC. Y'know, we basically treat him as a verbal punching bag, not because we dislike him, but because he's a bit of a goof and he gives us plenty of ammunition, and he's perfectly happy to accept the abuse for the sake of comedy. One day, in the middle of the afternoon, his girlfriend broke up with him over text message, and he literally spent the rest of the day out back in tears. It's this kind of moment that some of us back in the day, myself included, would have said something like "hey, remember that time [NAME REDACTED] spent the afternoon crying out back because his girlfriend dumped him? Man, what a fucking pussy, huh?" It's this kind of moment that, even though the ammunition is there, we shouldn't have to be told that taking the shot is a terrible fucking idea. And for the record, I didn't take the shot. I've only ever mentioned this moment twice since it happened over a year ago, this being one of them. Neither of them were in this person's presence, and both times I did so to illustrate a perfect example of a joke that should not be made.

And finally, I have no issues with ass eating as long as both parties consent to it. And, y'know, as long as you wash it first. That just common sense.

---

Whew, that was longer than I thought it would be. I'm not used to making serious posts.

And by the way, for those of you who are like me yesterday and only half pay attention the forums and have no idea what's going on, I don't think anybody here is suggesting that we need to materially change who we are as human beings. I myself am a cynical, obnoxious, passive-aggressive asshole with a sharp edge, and I'm just not capable of living any other way. Trust me, I've tried. And I fully accept that there will be people in this world who will dislike me because of that.

But that said, I've come to realize that there are certain behavioral tendencies I possess that I can eliminate from myself without becoming a completely different person entirely. And I think that's what Req was trying to get at from the beginning.

To paraphrase Guardians of the Galaxy, we can be assholes, but we can't be 100% a bunch of dicks.
 
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Salsy

Well-Known Member
Member


 

Tirin

God-Emperor of Tealkind
Moderator
Sometimes you've just gotta go full fucking ham, and I have no regrets on the matter.
 

Ibix

Well-Known Member
Member
*Imagine Shadows good post.*
I'm in agreement with Shadow's sentiments and don't really have much to add other than that I think we are all adults that can get context/consent.

I don't want us to be a community that gets stuck with either people dying on the hill of calling everybody and anybody a niggerfaggot or people injecting themselves into playful banter like I would've about two forums ago. It is okay for us to expect people who judge to at least tolerate what is expected or leave. That is where I was at when I didn't want anybody in the world saying faggot on the behave of other people that weren't even present.

If somebody keeps abusing one or more people with intent of harm; that is obviously net negative and we'll deal with it accordingly. Details can be argued when needed. I see we are all clearly capable of that.
 

Requiem

Well-Known Member
Member
I'm in agreement with Shadow's sentiments and don't really have much to add other than that I think we are all adults that can get context/consent.

I don't want us to be a community that gets stuck with either people dying on the hill of calling everybody and anybody a niggerfaggot or people injecting themselves into playful banter like I would've about two forums ago. It is okay for us to expect people who judge to at least tolerate what is expected or leave. That is where I was at when I didn't want anybody in the world saying faggot on the behave of other people that weren't even present.

If somebody keeps abusing one or more people with intent of harm; that is obviously net negative and we'll deal with it accordingly. Details can be argued when needed. I see we are all clearly capable of that.
Pretty much the gist of what I wanted us to get at in the end.
 
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