Continuous The Forum Court (Tirin v. Thunder: Concluded)
- Thread starter Easy
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Ah, right. The other thing I wanted to deal with today.
I'm going to delay the beginning of this trial for another seven days, while attempting to find a willing volunteer to defend in this case. Circumstance may well force a substandard Attorney upon the Accused against his own will, in this or future cases, but it is my view that it remains important that the presiding Justice takes all steps necessary, within reason, to avoid such a scenario.
I'm going to delay the beginning of this trial for another seven days, while attempting to find a willing volunteer to defend in this case. Circumstance may well force a substandard Attorney upon the Accused against his own will, in this or future cases, but it is my view that it remains important that the presiding Justice takes all steps necessary, within reason, to avoid such a scenario.
ORDER. Court is now in session.
@Tirin @AndyM03
Defense and Prosecution may now present opening statements. Each side, having done so, may then proceed to: call witnesses, present arguments, and/or submit any evidence for or against the charges, or any briefs and statements quoted from an outside party, for or against the charges presented.
This trial will proceed until exactly one week has elapsed, or both sides have presented closing statements - whichever is shorter.
Proceed.
@Tirin @AndyM03
Defense and Prosecution may now present opening statements. Each side, having done so, may then proceed to: call witnesses, present arguments, and/or submit any evidence for or against the charges, or any briefs and statements quoted from an outside party, for or against the charges presented.
This trial will proceed until exactly one week has elapsed, or both sides have presented closing statements - whichever is shorter.
Proceed.
Your Honor, in Walrus Man's newspaper, the Rogue Tusk, the defendant asserts numerous blatant falsehoods: namely that forum crime is over following Requiem's trial (impossible; Stealthy and Andy are still here) and that Walrus Man's arguments were critical to that alleged state of affairs.
However, Requiem had already confessed to his guilt before Walrus Man was appointed prosecutor; thus, Walrus Man's arguments were not instrumental to finding Req guilty, and were in fact entirely unrelated.
In addition, Walrus Man made the claims that:
1) He is a strong deterrent to forum crime - a ridiculous assertion at best, given the presence of active moderators, administrators, and the esteemed Court;
2) The Get the Cookie thread was extremely active and engaging at the time of writing (October 17, 2016) and every forumer aside from Requiem was engaged in the struggle for the cookie. There were no posts in the Get the Cookie thread between September 28 and October 17, a period of nearly three weeks, and the only recent non-Req poster was Thunderclaw.
All of these statements are clearly false, and thus Walrus Man is guilty of the crime of making false statements provided that he is aware that they are false. As Walrus Man would have to be insane to be unaware of the all-too-evident facts in this matter, I concur with Andy that the defendent should undergo an examination of his mental health and stability, and request that a court-appointed third party conduct said psychiatric evaluation in the interests of impartiality.
Of course, Your Honor, I would like to note that if Walrus Man is found to be not guilty by criminal insanity, it is only right that he be segregated from the general population for safety's sake owing to his inability to distinguish reality from his delusions.
However, Requiem had already confessed to his guilt before Walrus Man was appointed prosecutor; thus, Walrus Man's arguments were not instrumental to finding Req guilty, and were in fact entirely unrelated.
In addition, Walrus Man made the claims that:
1) He is a strong deterrent to forum crime - a ridiculous assertion at best, given the presence of active moderators, administrators, and the esteemed Court;
2) The Get the Cookie thread was extremely active and engaging at the time of writing (October 17, 2016) and every forumer aside from Requiem was engaged in the struggle for the cookie. There were no posts in the Get the Cookie thread between September 28 and October 17, a period of nearly three weeks, and the only recent non-Req poster was Thunderclaw.
All of these statements are clearly false, and thus Walrus Man is guilty of the crime of making false statements provided that he is aware that they are false. As Walrus Man would have to be insane to be unaware of the all-too-evident facts in this matter, I concur with Andy that the defendent should undergo an examination of his mental health and stability, and request that a court-appointed third party conduct said psychiatric evaluation in the interests of impartiality.
Of course, Your Honor, I would like to note that if Walrus Man is found to be not guilty by criminal insanity, it is only right that he be segregated from the general population for safety's sake owing to his inability to distinguish reality from his delusions.
I'll allow it. In that case, we will now briefly recess while the Court attempts to procure a suitable candidate for such an evaluation. The time allotted to Arguments will not continue to elapse in the interim.
Allowed. Forumer @LeMeh will now be called to provide an evaluation of Defendant @Walrus 's mental state; both present, and prior, at the time of offense. Since this procedure is fundamentally part of gathering evidence for the trial, rather than mere presentation and interpretation of existing evidence, the full week of time which will be allotted to its duration will not be deducted from the amount of time available for the Attorneys to present arguments.
@LeMeh
Do you solemnly swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, answering all relevant questions posed by either attorney fully and accurately, to the best of your ability, no matter how tangential the relevance and however self-incriminating the answer may be, or else accept, before all forumers previous, future, and current, that your own worth is no greater than that of a gay-ass, baby-ass, stupid-ass, worthless-ass Czech pride stinking bitch?
The court is advised that failure to answer this query in the affirmative does not preclude witnesses from testifying or attorneys from operating. Failure to answer the presiding Justice's direct address, however, does, until such time as a worthy answer has been provided.
@LeMeh
Do you solemnly swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, answering all relevant questions posed by either attorney fully and accurately, to the best of your ability, no matter how tangential the relevance and however self-incriminating the answer may be, or else accept, before all forumers previous, future, and current, that your own worth is no greater than that of a gay-ass, baby-ass, stupid-ass, worthless-ass Czech pride stinking bitch?
The court is advised that failure to answer this query in the affirmative does not preclude witnesses from testifying or attorneys from operating. Failure to answer the presiding Justice's direct address, however, does, until such time as a worthy answer has been provided.
Just trying to find time to research the history of the case and get everything in order.
Also, your Honor, wouldn't it be better to perform a psych evaluation in a more private, confidential setting than an open court room and in a format that would allow for a faster back and forth of replies?
Also, your Honor, wouldn't it be better to perform a psych evaluation in a more private, confidential setting than an open court room and in a format that would allow for a faster back and forth of replies?
Your honour I will not have the evaluation of my client conducted behind closed doors, such an act would be immoral and would surely diminish the faith us citizens have in the court.
At the very least, screenshots of the evaluation should be presented to the public forum afterwards, or rather, I be included in said private format.
At the very least, screenshots of the evaluation should be presented to the public forum afterwards, or rather, I be included in said private format.
Your Honor, I am strongly of the opinion that for the sake of legitimacy - and to ensure no mid-evaluation coaching on the part of the defense - that I should be included if he is. Otherwise, I accept the solution of LM recording the transcripts of the evaluation and posting them along with his conclusion. The jury, after all, deserves access to all pertinent records.