Ended CYOA - Everything You Know is a Lie: In Which Walrus Successfully Coups the Government

Walrus

Walrus

Well-Known Member
Member
EXPERIMENTAL. Expect updates minimum once a week.

Hello and welcome all to my tale of truth and neat factoids. It is I, Walrus, this forum's most reliable narrator, and I am here to discuss the reality of this forum. Unlike the 'normal' CYOA works of Colonel Thunder (Who is this man, and why does he remind me of the far more respectable Thunderclaw?), this story will
1) Portray the citizens of this forum ACCURATELY
2) Refrain from lies and only tell the story properly: In the manner which I, the rightful and competent narrator, choose for it.

Yes, all will go according to my direction, for this is not some fantasy where you all can simply make up how the events unfold. This is REAL. In reality, if you were not aware, events only unfold in one specific way. Now, I want to tell you this story properly, that's why I am here after all, but if my presence here dwindles, if my presence in this thread vanishes altogether after a short while...you may assume the worst. Stealthy must have captured me or put some sort of evil restraint on my access to this one particular thread. That would be the only logical explanation.

Now, as I was saying...hm...

What does Walrus talk about now?
-Tirin
-The fishbowl
-The Mayor Office
-Custom Option
 
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Colonel Thunder

Colonel Thunder

Renowned Blunderer & Dishonorary Czech
Member
It's been almost a week.

Clearly Walrus is too intimidated to speak against Tirin. What a shame, I thought Walrus may have been the forum the hero needed, but it seems he just doesn't care enough to speak about injustice.
 
Walrus

Walrus

Well-Known Member
Member
When he heard that his ally Tirin was about to be scandalized Stealthy began pulling some attacks that I'm just starting to fend off. Expect update by Friday.
 
Colonel Thunder

Colonel Thunder

Renowned Blunderer & Dishonorary Czech
Member
Don't be absurd Walrus, Stealthy hasn't been a part of the community in nearly two years, he wouldn't bother showing up just to ensure that...uh...huh...so I guess Stealthy's back now...
 
Tirin

Tirin

God-Emperor of Tealkind
Moderator
He might be back, but he sure isn't living up to his name.

Nut up or shut up with regards to this entire thread, Walrus.
 
Walrus

Walrus

Well-Known Member
Member
Firedemon said:
Obviously Tirin the Usurper
Click to expand...
Colonel Thunder said:
Yeah, I want to see Tirin come in here and wreck.

Talk about Tirin.
Click to expand...
coolpool2 said:
I kind of want to see how you write Tirin.
Click to expand...
Steal Thy Kill said:
Tirin
Click to expand...
Null Hypothesis said:
Tirin
Click to expand...
Ah yes. I almost lost my train of thought for a massive quantity of seconds there. As I was saying...the fish bowl. The mayor's office. Those were the days. Every aspect of the forum was perfect. Everyone was happy. Tirin came to ruin it of course, but Tirin is not what I am going to talk about right now. I shall go on talking about those two other things now - the fish bowl and the mayor's office. Why would I talk about Tirin? Tirin's a sore subject for me. I had invested so much effort into making him happy, and what a happy little teal lad he used to be. Oh, those were the days. Every aspect of Tirin and I's relationship was perfect. Everyone was happy. Mr. Property came to ruin it of course, but Mr. Property is not what I am going to talk about right now. I shall go on talking about those two other things now - the fish bowl and the mayor's office.

Oh how we taught him everything he knows! We raised him so well, I even talked to him about how to be a good mayor like I was with a respectable fish bowl and everything. He eventually came to ruin it of course. I put in so much effort and then he just tossed aside all those grand principles I taught him back when he was still an infant; it was like he didn't learn anything at all! Tirin grew up to become a monster, all because I was a bad teacher. I shall go on talking about that thing now - the memory of how we found ourselves a poor little baby Tirin so long ago and took him in as our own child. Yes, it was me and...

It's time for a flashback! Who helped Walrus raise poor little baby Tirin? Think now! This is an important and well established parental relationship in forum lore that everyone should know about.
-Thunderclaw (NOT Colonel Thunder; they're different characters)
-Artist "The New Jesus" Unknown
-Wizardchuu
-Custom Forumer(s)
-Oh my I am so confused how is Walrus possibly raising baby Tirin didn't Tirin join the forum first or something I don't want to hear this story there is no way it can possibly be true please talk about something else.
 
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Walrus

Walrus

Well-Known Member
Member
This thunderous confusion and tirinical interest in the weird is good and all, but I need more votes if I am to have this thread continue to follow the norms of a Choose Your Own Adventure
 
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