A Christmas CYOA
- Thread starter Colonel Thunder
- Start date
Sorry for the delay. There's no more choices to be made, just one big conclusion-y post. I hope to get to this tomorrow.
As well as publishing that stupid podcast.
As well as publishing that stupid podcast.
Conclusion Part 1
Easy springs into action.
He picks up Dunsparce by the scruff of the neck and throws him hard into the ceiling. Dunsparce bursts through the ceiling, creating a large hole in the roof. He eventually falls back down, landing on top of Coolpool - just as the latter had gotten up again.
"Easy, what're you doing!?" shouts TC. "Everything is scary! What do we do! Ahhh!"
"Don't worry," smiles Easy. "I know just what this party needs."
Easy takes careful aim and throws the bomb through the gap in the ceiling, at a very wide angle.
---
"Why don't you come in for a drink, 13th?" asks Stealthy.
"Absolutely not!" says 13th. "I'm arresting you, this is no time for your fancy booze!"
"I think you'll particularly like this kind," says Stealthy, walking over to a fancy clear bottle and pouring 13th a glass.
"Well...I suppose since it's Christmas I'll partake," says 13th, accepting the glass. "But right after this, off to jail!"
"Of course, of course," Stealthy says reassuringly.
13th takes a sip and smacks his lips.
"I'm not usually a fan of hard stuff, but this is fantastic!" says 13th.
"Would you like another?" asks Stealthy.
"Only if you don't mind," says 13th, accepting another glass. "You're not usually this kind."
"It's a special occasion," smiles Stealthy.
"Mm, I should pick up a bottle of this myself," says 13th. "This is the best gin I've ever had."
"Oh...is that what you think?" says Stealthy, holding up the bottle.
13th glances at the label and his eyes widen.
The label reads;
Putin's own Victory Vodka
70% alcohol, 30% tears from Ukrainian refugees
13th begins quivering and stammering uncontrollably as Stealthy smiles wider. A single tear rolls down the robot's cheek before he bursts out the front door bawling, running home as fast as he can. Stealthy guffaws appropriately.
Suddenly, Walrus bursts through the door.
"Where'd 13th go?" asks Walrus, out of breath. "He mistakenly gave you credit for my event!"
"It's Recon and Artist's event," says Stealthy. "They're the technical admins. They were just dumb enough to follow my advice and put you in charge. Now, get out of my house before the auto-defenses kill you on site you blubbering idiot."
Stealthy's auto-defenses took some time to target Walrus. They were busy looking at a large Christmas tree falling from the sky, with many decorations attached. The auto-defenses, which were still a little buggy since that one time TC rang the doorbell, incorrectly assessed the Christmas tree to not be a threat. They prepared to fire at Walrus, right when Easy's throw hit it's mark.
The Christmas tree landed on the roof with a thud.
"What on earth?" says Stealthy, looking upwards.
Then the bomb blew up, and Stealthy was thrown to the wall and knew no more.
Easy springs into action.
He picks up Dunsparce by the scruff of the neck and throws him hard into the ceiling. Dunsparce bursts through the ceiling, creating a large hole in the roof. He eventually falls back down, landing on top of Coolpool - just as the latter had gotten up again.
"Easy, what're you doing!?" shouts TC. "Everything is scary! What do we do! Ahhh!"
"Don't worry," smiles Easy. "I know just what this party needs."
Easy takes careful aim and throws the bomb through the gap in the ceiling, at a very wide angle.
---
"Why don't you come in for a drink, 13th?" asks Stealthy.
"Absolutely not!" says 13th. "I'm arresting you, this is no time for your fancy booze!"
"I think you'll particularly like this kind," says Stealthy, walking over to a fancy clear bottle and pouring 13th a glass.
"Well...I suppose since it's Christmas I'll partake," says 13th, accepting the glass. "But right after this, off to jail!"
"Of course, of course," Stealthy says reassuringly.
13th takes a sip and smacks his lips.
"I'm not usually a fan of hard stuff, but this is fantastic!" says 13th.
"Would you like another?" asks Stealthy.
"Only if you don't mind," says 13th, accepting another glass. "You're not usually this kind."
"It's a special occasion," smiles Stealthy.
"Mm, I should pick up a bottle of this myself," says 13th. "This is the best gin I've ever had."
"Oh...is that what you think?" says Stealthy, holding up the bottle.
13th glances at the label and his eyes widen.
The label reads;
Putin's own Victory Vodka
70% alcohol, 30% tears from Ukrainian refugees
13th begins quivering and stammering uncontrollably as Stealthy smiles wider. A single tear rolls down the robot's cheek before he bursts out the front door bawling, running home as fast as he can. Stealthy guffaws appropriately.
Suddenly, Walrus bursts through the door.
"Where'd 13th go?" asks Walrus, out of breath. "He mistakenly gave you credit for my event!"
"It's Recon and Artist's event," says Stealthy. "They're the technical admins. They were just dumb enough to follow my advice and put you in charge. Now, get out of my house before the auto-defenses kill you on site you blubbering idiot."
Stealthy's auto-defenses took some time to target Walrus. They were busy looking at a large Christmas tree falling from the sky, with many decorations attached. The auto-defenses, which were still a little buggy since that one time TC rang the doorbell, incorrectly assessed the Christmas tree to not be a threat. They prepared to fire at Walrus, right when Easy's throw hit it's mark.
The Christmas tree landed on the roof with a thud.
"What on earth?" says Stealthy, looking upwards.
Then the bomb blew up, and Stealthy was thrown to the wall and knew no more.
Conclusion Part 2
Everyone at City Hall cheered Easy for throwing the bomb away. Except for Dunsparce and Coolpool, who were just getting up and very cross.
Ro3 pointed through the hole in the roof and yipped, for several objects were falling towards them.
Several tables, and many many dishes of gourmet food and drink fell through the gap in the roof - as if tossed from an explosion. With time-power shenanigans, Tirin caught them all before they hit the ground and arranged them nicely, creating a banquet fit for kings.
Immediately after, Tirin scrambled to catch dozens of neatly wrapped gifts falling through the roof. (For some reason they were all marked 'To: Stealthy' but Tirin certainly didn't care.)
Every forumer cheered Tirin and cheered Easy, and they cheered the hippo. Chicken questioned how the physics of all that worked out, but they ignored him.
Just as Coolpool got back up, Walrus fell through the hole in the roof and landed on top of him. His clothes were burnt and he looked terrible. Every forumer turned towards food and gifts at this time, and so they failed to notice Walrus. Or else (just this once) they would have cheered him too, for putting on such an event. But he still joined them and enjoyed the mood.
There was a large crash outside, as a huge chunk of someone's mansion landed outside City Hall. It was the size of a normal house, only very clearly just a few rooms that used to be part of a much larger house. Requiem skipped for joy as he began moving into his new home, seemingly delivered to him by the gods.
Everyone began laughing and drinking, and having a great time. Except Recon and Artist, who desperately tried to get everyone's attention to donate money, but the sheer noise of friendship and celebration drowned them out.
Everyone opened gifts and received surprisingly lavish presents inside. TC got a jetpack (which broke immediately), Zircom got a unicorn (which magically cured his Aspergers), Andy and Maretocks got a lighter sentence, and Bob got nothing because he's Jewish and doesn't get shit for Christmas. Everyone else got something cool though.
"Man, this sucks!" says Artist, walking outside City Hall with Recon. "Nobody donated anything. And this event cost us a ton of money."
"At least everyone's enjoying themselves," says Recon. "But yeah, it will take us a while to pay off the server costs. We might have to take another loan from Stealthy."
"Speak of the devil," says Artist. "Stealthy...what happened!?"
Stealthy, burnt bruised and bleeding, stands before Recon and Artist with murder in his eyes.
"You two!" points Stealthy angrily. "Your stupid event led to half my mansion being blown up!"
"W-what?" says Recon. "Oh no, the bomb! Stealthy, we had no ide-"
Stealthy slaps both of them so hard they fall into the snow.
"To pay off the damages to my home and property," says Stealthy through gritted teeth. "You two...are going to be paying me back....forever!"
"Awww mannnnn," say Artist and Recon in unison as Stealthy storms off, muttering under his breath.
Back inside, Jeroth rejoins the party amidst much cheer, and he brings LM with him, whom everyone is excited to see. Eventually 13th calmed down enough to come by and enjoy some mafia games with everyone, and he had a lot of fun with the 'Cop' role. His spirits improved quickly. Tirin got drunk, Coolpool spiked the punch, Ro3 led a conga line, Shadow memed so hard that even Recon laughed at it, and Kratour made an appearance as well, and the forum had a grand evening. It was truly a Christmas to remember.
THE END
Everyone at City Hall cheered Easy for throwing the bomb away. Except for Dunsparce and Coolpool, who were just getting up and very cross.
Ro3 pointed through the hole in the roof and yipped, for several objects were falling towards them.
Several tables, and many many dishes of gourmet food and drink fell through the gap in the roof - as if tossed from an explosion. With time-power shenanigans, Tirin caught them all before they hit the ground and arranged them nicely, creating a banquet fit for kings.
Immediately after, Tirin scrambled to catch dozens of neatly wrapped gifts falling through the roof. (For some reason they were all marked 'To: Stealthy' but Tirin certainly didn't care.)
Every forumer cheered Tirin and cheered Easy, and they cheered the hippo. Chicken questioned how the physics of all that worked out, but they ignored him.
Just as Coolpool got back up, Walrus fell through the hole in the roof and landed on top of him. His clothes were burnt and he looked terrible. Every forumer turned towards food and gifts at this time, and so they failed to notice Walrus. Or else (just this once) they would have cheered him too, for putting on such an event. But he still joined them and enjoyed the mood.
There was a large crash outside, as a huge chunk of someone's mansion landed outside City Hall. It was the size of a normal house, only very clearly just a few rooms that used to be part of a much larger house. Requiem skipped for joy as he began moving into his new home, seemingly delivered to him by the gods.
Everyone began laughing and drinking, and having a great time. Except Recon and Artist, who desperately tried to get everyone's attention to donate money, but the sheer noise of friendship and celebration drowned them out.
Everyone opened gifts and received surprisingly lavish presents inside. TC got a jetpack (which broke immediately), Zircom got a unicorn (which magically cured his Aspergers), Andy and Maretocks got a lighter sentence, and Bob got nothing because he's Jewish and doesn't get shit for Christmas. Everyone else got something cool though.
"Man, this sucks!" says Artist, walking outside City Hall with Recon. "Nobody donated anything. And this event cost us a ton of money."
"At least everyone's enjoying themselves," says Recon. "But yeah, it will take us a while to pay off the server costs. We might have to take another loan from Stealthy."
"Speak of the devil," says Artist. "Stealthy...what happened!?"
Stealthy, burnt bruised and bleeding, stands before Recon and Artist with murder in his eyes.
"You two!" points Stealthy angrily. "Your stupid event led to half my mansion being blown up!"
"W-what?" says Recon. "Oh no, the bomb! Stealthy, we had no ide-"
Stealthy slaps both of them so hard they fall into the snow.
"To pay off the damages to my home and property," says Stealthy through gritted teeth. "You two...are going to be paying me back....forever!"
"Awww mannnnn," say Artist and Recon in unison as Stealthy storms off, muttering under his breath.
Back inside, Jeroth rejoins the party amidst much cheer, and he brings LM with him, whom everyone is excited to see. Eventually 13th calmed down enough to come by and enjoy some mafia games with everyone, and he had a lot of fun with the 'Cop' role. His spirits improved quickly. Tirin got drunk, Coolpool spiked the punch, Ro3 led a conga line, Shadow memed so hard that even Recon laughed at it, and Kratour made an appearance as well, and the forum had a grand evening. It was truly a Christmas to remember.
THE END
Thanks for playing guys! This was fun.
Also, probably the first CYOA I've actually finished!
Lemme know if you have any comments or questions or feedback or anything.
Also, probably the first CYOA I've actually finished!
Lemme know if you have any comments or questions or feedback or anything.
This is pretty much how everything happens to me, but instead of Gods, we'll say it's quaint, little happenstance and coincidence.
Also, fun little story, TC! Thanks for doing it and thanks for making it end while Winter was still happening this time, hahaha.
SO WHEN'S MACHPOCALYPSE COMING BACK?
That aside, well-done, TC. It's always a pleasure to see Stealthy get dunked on. That said, I can't say I'm a fan of his presumption to Artist and RECON owing him - not that it's out of his character, just that he's a real piece of shit.
Well that was uncalled for.
Sorry Stealthy, but even you have to be the butt of the joke sometimes