Ready an arrow and shoot at his face.
Ended FG RP: It's Finally Happening!
- Thread starter Chickenspleen
- Start date
I think I'll go buy a two handed sword and go hunt down this chicken rapist.
Can't you make one?
"Are...are you an angel?"
Good, point I buy the supplies and rent a blacksmith shop. I use it to forge a two handed sword to hunt the chicken rapist.
You turn this Satanic hellscape into a quaint little shop. You are already attracting a lot of attention from hipsters and old people.
You hit the guy right in the eye. He falls to the ground and clutches his face.
"Gods damn you! You took my good eye!"
You craft yourself a fine looking blade and head out to look for the dreaded fowl befouler. The townspeople tell you to look in one of the town's many chicken farms. He's always hiding out in chicken coops and waiting for the sun to go down.
"Well, you see, I have a brother Fred who lives with my family. Fred's in a bit of hot water right now, and we're worried about his safety. You look like a man who can handle yourself. I need you to impersonate him until the problem goes away. Doesn't sound too bad, now does it?"
You buy several Bowel Devastators and drink until you feel a significant buzz. You hear talk of a great tournament in the Imperial City. Maybe a strong warrior like yourself would be interested in that kind of action. You are approached by an Angel-looking fellow and some drunk dude. You can tell from a single glance that they're totally into each other.
Attracted by the powerful teal glow, you approach the intimidating figure at the bar scarfing down Bowel Devastators. You can tell from a glance that he's totally into the act of consuming alcohol.
Take his bad eye too.
NO NO NO
I begin systematically checking every chicken coop. making sure to check for extra distress in to local chicken population possibly giving away the location of the culprit.
I greet the angel and the drunk guy with a tipsy grin and an extended hand. "The two've you seem familiar... wanna travel with me?" I ask, leaving the possibly-unresolved issue of their sexual tension alone out of politeness. "I'll be going to the Imperial City."
"Sure thing, teal guy."
You fire another arrow at the man, but he just barely blocks it with his sword. The man spits out blood and forces himself into a standing position. He throws down his sword.
"Why don't you put down that little slingshot of yours and fight me like a man?"
"You drive a hard bargain, son, but all right."
He fetches you a mackerel and an orange amulet.
"Put this on and nobody will be able to tell you from old Fred."
You become an adept puppetsmith. Your skills are renowned for miles around. One day you receive a commission to do a puppet show for the mayor himself.
In one coop you find a man dressed as a chicken. He waves you away.
"Move along, nothing to see. Just another chicken is all."
Dramatic music seems to play as your quest for the Imperial City has begun. Before you leave, are there any loose ends in town you want to tie up?
The continuation of this thread fills me with determination. I prepare for the puppet show by cleaning and repairing my dolls/puppets. Then appreciate my good fortune that nothing horribly wrong has happened to me yet, and will likely not go wrong at the worst possible moment.
"Are you blind? This is a bow."
Fire another arrow at his bad eye.
If it hits: "I guess you are."
Fire another arrow at his bad eye.
If it hits: "I guess you are."