I think chances are higher that I'd somehow not even show up. At least then you wouldn't end up horribly crippled though.
Active The Mach Games
- Thread starter Jeroth
- Start date
I kind of like that though. It gives someone not lore OP a chance to win without author bias.
FYI, you can put in custom events. For the sake of adding in forum jokes.
I had no idea. God damn.
Huh. Yeah, I could. Well, I'll do it next time, maybe with a smaller cast.
Which is a B-. See that, Req? You didn't even manage to get a B- for that one.
The gunshot rings out, and the contestants rush off of their pedestals.
Many contestants dash for the cornucopia, but others retreat into the forest.
"No way I'm fast enough to get there first!" says Walrus, immediately running away from the group. "Besides, I don't need equipment to win, so long as I have my mayoral wits!"
--
"Screw it, I'm out!" says Bob, grinding to a halt upon seeing Easy reach the cornucopia first and grabbing a sword. He turns and runs away.
--
"Oh man, this setting would make for a great CYOA!" says Coolpool, also running away. "I should totally do that!"
--
"I'll probably need this," says Artist, grabbing a shield.
Artist is right too, as Whitetiger grabs a sword from the cornucopia and swings it at him. Artist blocks it with his shield just in time, then turns tail and flees.
"Ha! Run you pansy!" taunts Whitetiger, who then notices that Easy is looking at him, and also holding a sword.
"Um," says Whitetiger. "H-hi Easy."
--
Shizno, Andy, and Tag Ross run away from the cornucopia together. However, they soon encounter a large brick wall preventing them from going further.
"Damn! We're trapped!" says Andy.
"This looks like a lot of work," says Shizno, eyeing the wall.
Without a word, Tag Ross easily scales the wall and leaps over, abandoning his former companions.
"There's a Mexican joke here somewhere," says Andy, who spends the next couple minutes struggling to get over the wall. He eventually prevails.
"Looks like you're shit out of luck, mate!" Andy says to Shizno.
"Wait, you could help me up!" says Shizno.
"Uh, yeah, maybe later!" says Andy, descending over the other side of the wall.
"Aw..." says Shinzo, now alone.
--
"Ha! My idea is brilliant!" says Rondait, who ran away from the cornucopia and is now standing in the middle of a frozen lake. "Whenever I find a teammate, my instincts usually aren't the best! So I thought, I'll run into the middle of this frozen lake! What kind of idiot would want to walk onto a frozen lake just to be somebody's teammate? My idea is brilliant, and now I'm totally safe! Good job, Rondait!"
Rondait high-fives himself and smiles.
He stands there for a few minutes.
Nothing happens.
"Hm. Now what?" asks Rondait aloud. "I guess I could work on my leprechaun performance. Let's see. I'll wear a green leotard, th-"
Rondait falls through the ice and drowns.
--
"This is some jag shit right here!" says Tirin, sitting at the top of the cornucopia holding a small knife. "Easy and Whitetiger grabbed the good blades already, all I got is this piece of shit knife!"
Tirin angrily throws the knife away without looking.
--
Nearby, Ibix is rummaging through the backside of the cornucopia, unseen by everyone else.
"Oh my god, yes!" says Ibix, pulling out a machine gun from the pile of loot. He beams at it for a moment, but then a knife flies out of nowhere and embeds itself in his forehead. He drops dead, with his corpse covering the gun he had found.
--
Meanwhile, Tim hides in a tree, waiting to ambush unsuspecting contestants. He holds a long, jagged knife in his hand. His weapon of choice. Now he just needs to be patient.
--
"I'm glad I grabbed this backpack!" says Jeroth, now far from the cornucopia and taking a break from running. "Seems like a bunch of people were fighting over them."
Jeroth opens the backpack and realizes it's empty.
"Well, that's okay!" says Jeroth, still smiling. "At least there's lots of room in here for all my disappointment!"
--
"Give me that bag," says Stealthy, standing over Tolvan, who is holding a backpack.
"No!" says Tolvan, throwing himself onto the bag, wrapping it with his arms and legs. "It's mine, back off you ass!"
"D-do you even know who I am?" asks Stealthy. "You should really just give me the bag."
"I don't know who you are, but this bag is mine, you prick!" says Tolvan.
"Seriously? Have I been gone that long?" says Stealthy. "Oh well, can't say I didn't warn you."
Stealthy moves in to snap Tolvan's neck and take the bag, but he sees Easy and Tirin in the distance.
"Hm, I have a better idea," says Stealthy, running away from Tolvan and his bag.
--
"TC, we can be on the same team!" says Req, pulling on the strap of the backpack he and TC are fighting over.
"I won't let you kill me!" yells TC. "I'll prove I'm not a dunderpaw, I'll prove that I'm competent! And that starts with taking this backpack from you!"
"You can have the backpack, we can share the gear and team up!" says Req. "That's the best shot we have at winning this, stop being so...well...dunderpaw-y!"
"Fine! You get the bag!" says TC, letting ho of the backpack and running away with nothing but a fishing pole. "But this isn't the last you've seen of Thunderclaw!"
"Sheesh, that guy is weird," says Requiem. "Guess I should take a look in this backpack. Ohmygod I hope it has EasyxTirin lit!"
--
Danny, Lotus, Dunsparce, and Firedemon split up their gear not far from the cornucopia.
"Okay, I think this is a pretty good gear distribution," says Lotus. "Is everybody happy with this."
Danny, Dunsparce, and Firedemon hesitantly grumble.
"Well there's no way to make everyone happy," says Lotus. "But if we can live with it, I'd say this works out okay."
"Hey, shouldn't we be worried about other groups nearby?" asks Danny. "We didn't move very far. There could be others right next to us."
"Danny's got a good point," says Dunsparce. "Some of those other groups seemed really antagonistic. I want to put some distance between us and them."
--
Tim's moment has arrived! Danny, Dunsparce, Firedemon, and Lotus are talking right below them, and they're distracted! A free quadruple kill! Tim's boner becomes larger than ever as he realizes he's about to have the greatest serial killing of his entire life.
Tim drops out of the tree in a bloodlust fury. He laughs maniacally as he hears shouts of terror and begins stabbing and slicing the lot of them. He's blinded by the visceral carnage of it all, overwhelmed by the ecstasy of feeling his blade cut through flesh and spilling warm blood onto his hands. Tim blacks out from the glory of it all.
--
"...WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED!" shouts Danny.
"Hey, careful, someone could hear us!" says Dunsparce. "Don't be so antagonistic!"
"No seriously, what just happened," says Danny, looking at Tim's mutilated corpse.
"Well uh..." says Dunsparce. "It looks like Tim jumped out of the tree with a knife. Firedemon and Lotus got scared and ran away. Then Tim proceeded to laugh maniacally and stab himself over and over again in front of us until he died."
"I know that!" says Danny. "What I'm asking about is what happened to all our bloody gear!"
Dunsparce looks around, and all of their gear is indeed gone. Someone must have taken it while they were distracted by Tim's odd suicide.
"Huh," says Dunsparce. "My bet's on Firedemon. The guy's really an anta-"
"Shut up," says Danny.
--
Day 1: Part 2 coming soon
Many contestants dash for the cornucopia, but others retreat into the forest.
"No way I'm fast enough to get there first!" says Walrus, immediately running away from the group. "Besides, I don't need equipment to win, so long as I have my mayoral wits!"
--
"Screw it, I'm out!" says Bob, grinding to a halt upon seeing Easy reach the cornucopia first and grabbing a sword. He turns and runs away.
--
"Oh man, this setting would make for a great CYOA!" says Coolpool, also running away. "I should totally do that!"
--
"I'll probably need this," says Artist, grabbing a shield.
Artist is right too, as Whitetiger grabs a sword from the cornucopia and swings it at him. Artist blocks it with his shield just in time, then turns tail and flees.
"Ha! Run you pansy!" taunts Whitetiger, who then notices that Easy is looking at him, and also holding a sword.
"Um," says Whitetiger. "H-hi Easy."
--
Shizno, Andy, and Tag Ross run away from the cornucopia together. However, they soon encounter a large brick wall preventing them from going further.
"Damn! We're trapped!" says Andy.
"This looks like a lot of work," says Shizno, eyeing the wall.
Without a word, Tag Ross easily scales the wall and leaps over, abandoning his former companions.
"There's a Mexican joke here somewhere," says Andy, who spends the next couple minutes struggling to get over the wall. He eventually prevails.
"Looks like you're shit out of luck, mate!" Andy says to Shizno.
"Wait, you could help me up!" says Shizno.
"Uh, yeah, maybe later!" says Andy, descending over the other side of the wall.
"Aw..." says Shinzo, now alone.
--
"Ha! My idea is brilliant!" says Rondait, who ran away from the cornucopia and is now standing in the middle of a frozen lake. "Whenever I find a teammate, my instincts usually aren't the best! So I thought, I'll run into the middle of this frozen lake! What kind of idiot would want to walk onto a frozen lake just to be somebody's teammate? My idea is brilliant, and now I'm totally safe! Good job, Rondait!"
Rondait high-fives himself and smiles.
He stands there for a few minutes.
Nothing happens.
"Hm. Now what?" asks Rondait aloud. "I guess I could work on my leprechaun performance. Let's see. I'll wear a green leotard, th-"
Rondait falls through the ice and drowns.
--
"This is some jag shit right here!" says Tirin, sitting at the top of the cornucopia holding a small knife. "Easy and Whitetiger grabbed the good blades already, all I got is this piece of shit knife!"
Tirin angrily throws the knife away without looking.
--
Nearby, Ibix is rummaging through the backside of the cornucopia, unseen by everyone else.
"Oh my god, yes!" says Ibix, pulling out a machine gun from the pile of loot. He beams at it for a moment, but then a knife flies out of nowhere and embeds itself in his forehead. He drops dead, with his corpse covering the gun he had found.
--
Meanwhile, Tim hides in a tree, waiting to ambush unsuspecting contestants. He holds a long, jagged knife in his hand. His weapon of choice. Now he just needs to be patient.
--
"I'm glad I grabbed this backpack!" says Jeroth, now far from the cornucopia and taking a break from running. "Seems like a bunch of people were fighting over them."
Jeroth opens the backpack and realizes it's empty.
"Well, that's okay!" says Jeroth, still smiling. "At least there's lots of room in here for all my disappointment!"
--
"Give me that bag," says Stealthy, standing over Tolvan, who is holding a backpack.
"No!" says Tolvan, throwing himself onto the bag, wrapping it with his arms and legs. "It's mine, back off you ass!"
"D-do you even know who I am?" asks Stealthy. "You should really just give me the bag."
"I don't know who you are, but this bag is mine, you prick!" says Tolvan.
"Seriously? Have I been gone that long?" says Stealthy. "Oh well, can't say I didn't warn you."
Stealthy moves in to snap Tolvan's neck and take the bag, but he sees Easy and Tirin in the distance.
"Hm, I have a better idea," says Stealthy, running away from Tolvan and his bag.
--
"TC, we can be on the same team!" says Req, pulling on the strap of the backpack he and TC are fighting over.
"I won't let you kill me!" yells TC. "I'll prove I'm not a dunderpaw, I'll prove that I'm competent! And that starts with taking this backpack from you!"
"You can have the backpack, we can share the gear and team up!" says Req. "That's the best shot we have at winning this, stop being so...well...dunderpaw-y!"
"Fine! You get the bag!" says TC, letting ho of the backpack and running away with nothing but a fishing pole. "But this isn't the last you've seen of Thunderclaw!"
"Sheesh, that guy is weird," says Requiem. "Guess I should take a look in this backpack. Ohmygod I hope it has EasyxTirin lit!"
--
Danny, Lotus, Dunsparce, and Firedemon split up their gear not far from the cornucopia.
"Okay, I think this is a pretty good gear distribution," says Lotus. "Is everybody happy with this."
Danny, Dunsparce, and Firedemon hesitantly grumble.
"Well there's no way to make everyone happy," says Lotus. "But if we can live with it, I'd say this works out okay."
"Hey, shouldn't we be worried about other groups nearby?" asks Danny. "We didn't move very far. There could be others right next to us."
"Danny's got a good point," says Dunsparce. "Some of those other groups seemed really antagonistic. I want to put some distance between us and them."
--
Tim's moment has arrived! Danny, Dunsparce, Firedemon, and Lotus are talking right below them, and they're distracted! A free quadruple kill! Tim's boner becomes larger than ever as he realizes he's about to have the greatest serial killing of his entire life.
Tim drops out of the tree in a bloodlust fury. He laughs maniacally as he hears shouts of terror and begins stabbing and slicing the lot of them. He's blinded by the visceral carnage of it all, overwhelmed by the ecstasy of feeling his blade cut through flesh and spilling warm blood onto his hands. Tim blacks out from the glory of it all.
--
"...WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED!" shouts Danny.
"Hey, careful, someone could hear us!" says Dunsparce. "Don't be so antagonistic!"
"No seriously, what just happened," says Danny, looking at Tim's mutilated corpse.
"Well uh..." says Dunsparce. "It looks like Tim jumped out of the tree with a knife. Firedemon and Lotus got scared and ran away. Then Tim proceeded to laugh maniacally and stab himself over and over again in front of us until he died."
"I know that!" says Danny. "What I'm asking about is what happened to all our bloody gear!"
Dunsparce looks around, and all of their gear is indeed gone. Someone must have taken it while they were distracted by Tim's odd suicide.
"Huh," says Dunsparce. "My bet's on Firedemon. The guy's really an anta-"
"Shut up," says Danny.
--
Day 1: Part 2 coming soon
I knew it, there's no way that Tirin would intentionally kill Ibix.
Spot on.
One can only hope.
A+.
No comment.
Okay, there are conceivably some ways in which Tirin would kill Ibix, but for the most part, he would do his best to not have to kill him unless it was necessary.
Or he just felt like it... maybe. But he'd feel much less like it towards Ibix... maybe.
TC, that was fantastic. Good job.
I realize that I forgot to include Recon and Druby in that opening post.
Uh...they ran away.
That's pretty much it.
Uh...they ran away.
That's pretty much it.