Active The Mach Games
- Thread starter Jeroth
- Start date
"Ah, Coolpool, my friend!" says Walrus, walking up to Coolpool.
"What do you want, Walrus?" asks Coolpool. "I'm kind of busy."
"Oh, I'm just hoping to talk!" says Walrus. "May I walk with you?"
"I guess," says Coolpool. "Just keep your distance. And be careful, there's a lot of traps down this path. They usually contain loot though, so that's what I'm doing."
"I will be happy to join you!" says Walrus.
The two of them begin walking down the forest path together. Coolpool keeps an eye out for traps while Walrus blabbers on.
--
"Okay guys," says Recon. "I realize we've all had a bad time so far, and the groups have been pretty awful. But that ends now, I feel good about this group."
"Danny," says Recon, gesturing towards Danny. "You've ran a community before. You're good at working with others."
"Um, that literally ended with the forum raining blood," says Danny. "And that was one of the better things that happened."
"Point is," says Recon. "You have experience running communities. So if I die, our group still has somewhere to look. That's a strength."
"Dragonruby," says recon, gesturing towards Druby. "I uh, actually don't know much about you. But I think you're a fair bit tougher than you tend to let on. And even better, you know that Easy's wounded, and you know his most recent location. That's helpful."
"Uh, thanks," says Druby.
"Tag Ross," says Recon, gesturing towards Tag. "You're literally the most under appreciated person on the forum. I've seen you work, I know you can fix anything and everything with almost no tools. If we come across some complex gear, you're our best shot at getting it to work right."
Tag nods respectfully.
"TC," says Recon, gesturing towards TC. "Your dopey optimism is usually a liability, but for whatever reason you've darkened up a bit, and I think it's really helped your resolve to do well."
"The fish had already begun eating his corpse," mumbles TC, staring into the distance.
"Rrrrright," says Recon. "Anyways, you all know the plan. Easy is a major power player, he's wounded, and we know where he's probably at. Best case scenario, we convince him to join our team, and together we find a way to escape this arena. Worst case scenario, we kill him, and then all we have to worry about is Stealthy, and Coolpool's freaky-ass gun."
Danny, Druby, Tag Ross, and TC all nod in agreement.
"Right," says Recon, standing up. "Let's go raid his camp!"
--
"Now, please tell me again while you're all here," says Stealthy, taking yet another swig from the flask a sponsor had sent him.
"Because Stealthy is the best, and if we oppose him we'll die even quicker than we otherwise would," say Firedemon, Tolvan, and the Hound in unison, just as Stealthy instructed them.
"Good, I'm glad we have that down," says Stealthy. His three new minions are lined up in front of him, and he begins inspecting them.
"Firedemon," says Stealthy. "Tell me why you're good enough to be my servant."
"Well, at first I teamed up with Danny, Dunsparce, Lotus, and Druby," says FD. "Then when they were distracted I stole all their shit and ran away. Then I teamed up with Walrus, TC, Andy, and Jeroth. Then when they were distracted, I stole all of their shit and ran away too."
"Not bad," says Stealthy. "You have way too much gear and it's slowing you down, but you'll make a fine minion if you keep up that level of bastardry. Now, Bob?"
"Uh, what?" says Bob.
"Tell me why I should let you serve me," says Stealthy.
"Because..." says Bob, floundering. "You know that I'm not clever enough to successfully betray you?"
"Accurate, but rubbish," says Stealthy. "I'm not convinced, I'll be back for you later. And lastly, Tolvan."
"Yes sir!" says Tolvan.
"You barely know who I am," says Stealthy. "Why did you want to be my minion?"
"Well," says Tolvan. "Easy said you would probably be really good at this Hunger Games thing, and after Easy kicked me off his team, I thought maybe it would be a good idea to join yours."
"And why did Easy kick you off his team?" asks Stealthy.
"Because I shot Lotus and Whitetiger and Tirin in the head," says Tolvan. "And I guess that made Easy nervous."
Stealthy laughs so loudly it startles his three recruits. They have never seen him so amused.
"Oh, that's golden," says Stealthy, wiping away a tear. "You're worth keeping around for comedic value alone."
"B-but I'm not kidding," says Tolvan.
Stealthy stares at Tolvan, still smiling. Suddenly, a look of terror and bewilderment crosses Stealthy's face. It's quickly replaced by a more neutral expression.
"Of course you're not kidding!" says Stealthy. "I believe you, I...really do. Anyways, for your first assignment, I want the three of you to go kill Jeroth for me. His camp's about two clicks south of here. I'll even give the one to kill him an extra bathroom break. Now go, scatter!"
Firedemon, Bob, and Tolvan begin running towards Jeroth's camp.
Stealthy sits down and collects his thoughts.
"No...it...it couldn't be..."
--
"I better get moving," says Easy, using a fresh set of leaves as makeshift bandages for his shoulder wound. It's not healing well. "I'm gonna be really pissed if this is what kills me," says Easy. Easy begins carving a path through the jungle using his own sword, and the sword that had previously belonged to Tirin.
--
"And then when I woke up, Firedemon stole all our stuff, and everyone else was gone!" says Walrus.
"Walrus, I know you're just trying to pass the time, but I'm trying to focus here," says Coolpool as he defuses another landmine.
"But don't worry!" says Walrus. "You are a young and impressionable man, Coolpool! I'm sure I'll be able to teach you the ways of Walrus logic, and then you'll be smart and successful, like me!"
Coolpool reaches into his backpack to grab his laser pistol, then takes a deep breath and gets back to defusing the landmine.
--
Shizno wakes up in the middle of the afternoon.
"Oh. I'm still alive," says Shizno.
Shizno feels a breeze that's particularly...breeze-y.
"Wait a second..." says Shizno, looking down. "Hey! Where are my pants!"
--
Dunsparce tries cooking a squirrel he had killed. He is wearing a pair of pants on his head.
"Not gonna lie," says Dunsparce aloud to no one in particular. "I just thought it be funny. Even if it was antagonistic."
--
"Enjoy the food!" says Andy, reading the note that came attached to his parachute.
Andy opens the silver container and finds some of the worst smelling and worst looking food he's ever seen.
"Gross, what the hell is this!?" says Andy, throwing the food away from his. "My favorite food is pizza! Why would someone send me that garbage? Is that supposed to be prison food? Is this an Australia joke? Bloody bastards."
--
"Doesn't look like anybody's here," says Recon, as he and his group inspect Easy's prior camp. "I guess he left already."
"Here's where Tirin pinned him to a tree," says Druby. "And there's the three bodies, like I told you."
"What's this?" says TC, pointing to a clearing in the forest. "It looks like someone carved a new path through the forest."
"Easy must have gone that way," says Tag Ross. "Should we follow him?"
"Hey, who the fuck did this!" shouts Danny, walking towards the group with a sponsor container. "Everybody knows, I FUCKING HATE PIZZA!"
Danny throws the silver container on the ground, spilling a pepperoni pizza into the dirt.
"My favorite food is fine British cuisine!" shouts Danny. Whoever sent me a pizza is going to PAY!"
"Maybe it was Team Dash?" suggests Druby.
Danny's eye twitches, and he stares into the sky and begins screaming as buried memories return to him. A few droplets of red rain fall from the sky, and Danny runs off into the distance, still screaming angrily.
"So uh...now what?" asks Druby.
--
After many long hours, Artist finally succeeds in creating a wooden spear using just an old tree branch and a tiny pocketknife.
"It's not exactly a sword, but it'll do!" says Artist proudly.
--
"Huh, that's weird," says Jeroth, walking around a former campsite. "It looks like Recon and Danny were here. Probably TC and Druby too. Maybe Tag Ross?"
Jeroth looks around for useful gear but finds nothing.
"Man, this stinks," says Jeroth. "I just want to get one piece of good gear. Just one, and I'll be happy."
Jeroth hears a scream in the distance.
"Uh oh," says Jeroth. "I know that scream."
Jeroth quickly begins moving away from the direction of the scream.
"Sounds like a pizza party."
--
"Stupid other forumers," says Req, desperately trying to fish with a trident. "I know! Let's steal all of Req's gear! Leave him with nothing but a stupid trident! Pfft. Stupid."
Req continues to talk about his feelings for a couple of hours.
Fishing is good for that sort of thing.
--
"Aw man," says Bob. "It looks like Jeroth already left his camp."
"Not much of a camp really," says Firedemon. "Basically just a hole in the ground where he slept. He doesn't have any gear. Mostly because I stole it all."
"Well, maybe he's still around here somewhere?" suggests Tolvan. "If we pull together as a team, I'm sure we can still-"
"Screw it, I'm out," says Bob, who begins walking away.
"Yeah, me too," says Firedemon, who begins walking away with a shiny new sword he found.
"Wait, guys!" says Tolvan. "Come on, you don't want to disappoint Stealthy!"
Firedemon and Bob walk away in separate directions.
"Aw, I thought we had a good thing going here," says Tolvan, disappointed.
A few seconds pass.
"Uh oh," says Tolvan, feeling the now empty sheath on his thigh. "Did Firedemon just steal my sword?"
--
"Whoohoohooho!" says Firedemon, running as fast as he can while carrying several armloads of gear, now including a sword.
--
Easy slices through some thick ferns and steps into a clearing.
He sees Stealthy sitting next to a campfire.
"Heyyyy," says Stealthy, waving to Easy. "Easy, c'mon over here!"
Easy expects a trap, but detects none. It's clear from the large flask in Stealthy's hand, and Stealthy's very demeanor, that he is completely plastered.
"Stealthy?" says Easy, cautiously approaching arguably the forum's smartest man. "Are you drunk? What's going on?"
"I've seen this place *hic* before," stammers Stealthy. He points to his head. "In my mind."
"What are you talking about?" asks Easy.
"I made this arena, Easy, I made this game!" says Stealthy.
"I'm confused," says Easy. "This isn't some kind of hallucination. You realize that, right? This is real."
"Oh. Yep. Yahhhh it's real," says Stealthy. "For us, anyways. Not like it matters. I didn't know. I...I don't even think they know, at least not yet."
"Why are you like this?" asks Easy. "You're going to get yourself killed. I had half a mind to kill you when I saw you."
"We're all going to get killed," laughs Stealthy. "We're just toys. And machines. And he's a perfect man. An unbeatable machine. Hell bent on..."
Stealthy dozes off.
"Stay with me," says Easy, lightly slapping Stealthy's face.
"He's real," smiles Stealthy. "Fourteen."
Easy stands up and takes a step back.
"That's impossible," says Easy.
"Mach was a new community, and he waaaaas a new face," says Stealthy. "The prodigal's son has returned."
Stealthy begins laughing, then stops and meets eyes with Easy.
"You know what you must do," says Stealthy.
Easy nods, then turns to leave.
"Good luck out there, Rock," says Stealthy. "You'll need it."
Easy stop for a moment. He walks back towards Stealthy and drops one of his swords at his side.
Easy walks away.
--
The sun is beginning to set. Coolpool, now with a plethora of gear and equipment, walks back towards the main forest. Walrus is close in ow, still blabbering on.
"If you work very very hard, you can be like me one day," says Walrus. "Leading successful groups, being a famous mayor, and who knows, people might even take you seriously!"
"People take me seriously," grumbles Coolpool.
"Ha! No they don't!" says Walrus. "Why, your silly Choose Your Own Adventure threads never even get off the ground!"
Coolpool stops in his tracks.
"Most everyone sees you as this aimless kid," says Walrus. "With an occasionally good idea, but bogged down by consistent mediocrity and poor execution."
Coolpool clenches his fists.
"That's why you should be more like me! Then maybe you'll go somewhere in life, instead of just wasting your potentia-OOF!"
Coolpool tuns around and punches Walrus hard in the stomach. Walrus doubles over in pain.
"You know Walrus," says Coolpool. "If I wanted to be taken more seriously, you're the last person I would emulate! You're obnoxious and arrogant and incredibly annoying, and believe me, there's a lot of people on the forum that fit that description, yet you seem to be the best at it!"
Coolpool kicks Walrus in the side.
"And in case you weren't paying attention to the announcement at the beginning," says Coolpool. "Only the last survivor gets to go home! We're in a battle to the death! But you've spent the last two days trying to restart your pathetic re-election campaign for some stupid reason!"
Coolpool bashes Walrus' head against a rock several times.
"I don't know why I put up with you for so long," says Coolpool. "You're worthless."
Coolpool begins walking away as Walrus groans.
"Coolpool..." groans Walrus.
Coolpool begins digging in his backpack. He pulls out his laser pistol and a deactivated landmine.
"I'm sorry..." says Walrus, struggling to stay conscious.
Coolpool reactivates the fist-sized landmine.
"I was...trying to make you a...stronger person," says Walrus.
"You succeeded," says Coolpool, throwing the landmine towards Walrus and shooting it mid-flight with his laser pistol.
The resulting explosion reduces Walrus to a bloody smear on the ground, and the area around his desecrated remains are scorched with fire and soot.
Coolpool continues walking, alone at last.
END OF DAY 2
"What do you want, Walrus?" asks Coolpool. "I'm kind of busy."
"Oh, I'm just hoping to talk!" says Walrus. "May I walk with you?"
"I guess," says Coolpool. "Just keep your distance. And be careful, there's a lot of traps down this path. They usually contain loot though, so that's what I'm doing."
"I will be happy to join you!" says Walrus.
The two of them begin walking down the forest path together. Coolpool keeps an eye out for traps while Walrus blabbers on.
--
"Okay guys," says Recon. "I realize we've all had a bad time so far, and the groups have been pretty awful. But that ends now, I feel good about this group."
"Danny," says Recon, gesturing towards Danny. "You've ran a community before. You're good at working with others."
"Um, that literally ended with the forum raining blood," says Danny. "And that was one of the better things that happened."
"Point is," says Recon. "You have experience running communities. So if I die, our group still has somewhere to look. That's a strength."
"Dragonruby," says recon, gesturing towards Druby. "I uh, actually don't know much about you. But I think you're a fair bit tougher than you tend to let on. And even better, you know that Easy's wounded, and you know his most recent location. That's helpful."
"Uh, thanks," says Druby.
"Tag Ross," says Recon, gesturing towards Tag. "You're literally the most under appreciated person on the forum. I've seen you work, I know you can fix anything and everything with almost no tools. If we come across some complex gear, you're our best shot at getting it to work right."
Tag nods respectfully.
"TC," says Recon, gesturing towards TC. "Your dopey optimism is usually a liability, but for whatever reason you've darkened up a bit, and I think it's really helped your resolve to do well."
"The fish had already begun eating his corpse," mumbles TC, staring into the distance.
"Rrrrright," says Recon. "Anyways, you all know the plan. Easy is a major power player, he's wounded, and we know where he's probably at. Best case scenario, we convince him to join our team, and together we find a way to escape this arena. Worst case scenario, we kill him, and then all we have to worry about is Stealthy, and Coolpool's freaky-ass gun."
Danny, Druby, Tag Ross, and TC all nod in agreement.
"Right," says Recon, standing up. "Let's go raid his camp!"
--
"Now, please tell me again while you're all here," says Stealthy, taking yet another swig from the flask a sponsor had sent him.
"Because Stealthy is the best, and if we oppose him we'll die even quicker than we otherwise would," say Firedemon, Tolvan, and the Hound in unison, just as Stealthy instructed them.
"Good, I'm glad we have that down," says Stealthy. His three new minions are lined up in front of him, and he begins inspecting them.
"Firedemon," says Stealthy. "Tell me why you're good enough to be my servant."
"Well, at first I teamed up with Danny, Dunsparce, Lotus, and Druby," says FD. "Then when they were distracted I stole all their shit and ran away. Then I teamed up with Walrus, TC, Andy, and Jeroth. Then when they were distracted, I stole all of their shit and ran away too."
"Not bad," says Stealthy. "You have way too much gear and it's slowing you down, but you'll make a fine minion if you keep up that level of bastardry. Now, Bob?"
"Uh, what?" says Bob.
"Tell me why I should let you serve me," says Stealthy.
"Because..." says Bob, floundering. "You know that I'm not clever enough to successfully betray you?"
"Accurate, but rubbish," says Stealthy. "I'm not convinced, I'll be back for you later. And lastly, Tolvan."
"Yes sir!" says Tolvan.
"You barely know who I am," says Stealthy. "Why did you want to be my minion?"
"Well," says Tolvan. "Easy said you would probably be really good at this Hunger Games thing, and after Easy kicked me off his team, I thought maybe it would be a good idea to join yours."
"And why did Easy kick you off his team?" asks Stealthy.
"Because I shot Lotus and Whitetiger and Tirin in the head," says Tolvan. "And I guess that made Easy nervous."
Stealthy laughs so loudly it startles his three recruits. They have never seen him so amused.
"Oh, that's golden," says Stealthy, wiping away a tear. "You're worth keeping around for comedic value alone."
"B-but I'm not kidding," says Tolvan.
Stealthy stares at Tolvan, still smiling. Suddenly, a look of terror and bewilderment crosses Stealthy's face. It's quickly replaced by a more neutral expression.
"Of course you're not kidding!" says Stealthy. "I believe you, I...really do. Anyways, for your first assignment, I want the three of you to go kill Jeroth for me. His camp's about two clicks south of here. I'll even give the one to kill him an extra bathroom break. Now go, scatter!"
Firedemon, Bob, and Tolvan begin running towards Jeroth's camp.
Stealthy sits down and collects his thoughts.
"No...it...it couldn't be..."
--
"I better get moving," says Easy, using a fresh set of leaves as makeshift bandages for his shoulder wound. It's not healing well. "I'm gonna be really pissed if this is what kills me," says Easy. Easy begins carving a path through the jungle using his own sword, and the sword that had previously belonged to Tirin.
--
"And then when I woke up, Firedemon stole all our stuff, and everyone else was gone!" says Walrus.
"Walrus, I know you're just trying to pass the time, but I'm trying to focus here," says Coolpool as he defuses another landmine.
"But don't worry!" says Walrus. "You are a young and impressionable man, Coolpool! I'm sure I'll be able to teach you the ways of Walrus logic, and then you'll be smart and successful, like me!"
Coolpool reaches into his backpack to grab his laser pistol, then takes a deep breath and gets back to defusing the landmine.
--
Shizno wakes up in the middle of the afternoon.
"Oh. I'm still alive," says Shizno.
Shizno feels a breeze that's particularly...breeze-y.
"Wait a second..." says Shizno, looking down. "Hey! Where are my pants!"
--
Dunsparce tries cooking a squirrel he had killed. He is wearing a pair of pants on his head.
"Not gonna lie," says Dunsparce aloud to no one in particular. "I just thought it be funny. Even if it was antagonistic."
--
"Enjoy the food!" says Andy, reading the note that came attached to his parachute.
Andy opens the silver container and finds some of the worst smelling and worst looking food he's ever seen.
"Gross, what the hell is this!?" says Andy, throwing the food away from his. "My favorite food is pizza! Why would someone send me that garbage? Is that supposed to be prison food? Is this an Australia joke? Bloody bastards."
--
"Doesn't look like anybody's here," says Recon, as he and his group inspect Easy's prior camp. "I guess he left already."
"Here's where Tirin pinned him to a tree," says Druby. "And there's the three bodies, like I told you."
"What's this?" says TC, pointing to a clearing in the forest. "It looks like someone carved a new path through the forest."
"Easy must have gone that way," says Tag Ross. "Should we follow him?"
"Hey, who the fuck did this!" shouts Danny, walking towards the group with a sponsor container. "Everybody knows, I FUCKING HATE PIZZA!"
Danny throws the silver container on the ground, spilling a pepperoni pizza into the dirt.
"My favorite food is fine British cuisine!" shouts Danny. Whoever sent me a pizza is going to PAY!"
"Maybe it was Team Dash?" suggests Druby.
Danny's eye twitches, and he stares into the sky and begins screaming as buried memories return to him. A few droplets of red rain fall from the sky, and Danny runs off into the distance, still screaming angrily.
"So uh...now what?" asks Druby.
--
After many long hours, Artist finally succeeds in creating a wooden spear using just an old tree branch and a tiny pocketknife.
"It's not exactly a sword, but it'll do!" says Artist proudly.
--
"Huh, that's weird," says Jeroth, walking around a former campsite. "It looks like Recon and Danny were here. Probably TC and Druby too. Maybe Tag Ross?"
Jeroth looks around for useful gear but finds nothing.
"Man, this stinks," says Jeroth. "I just want to get one piece of good gear. Just one, and I'll be happy."
Jeroth hears a scream in the distance.
"Uh oh," says Jeroth. "I know that scream."
Jeroth quickly begins moving away from the direction of the scream.
"Sounds like a pizza party."
--
"Stupid other forumers," says Req, desperately trying to fish with a trident. "I know! Let's steal all of Req's gear! Leave him with nothing but a stupid trident! Pfft. Stupid."
Req continues to talk about his feelings for a couple of hours.
Fishing is good for that sort of thing.
--
"Aw man," says Bob. "It looks like Jeroth already left his camp."
"Not much of a camp really," says Firedemon. "Basically just a hole in the ground where he slept. He doesn't have any gear. Mostly because I stole it all."
"Well, maybe he's still around here somewhere?" suggests Tolvan. "If we pull together as a team, I'm sure we can still-"
"Screw it, I'm out," says Bob, who begins walking away.
"Yeah, me too," says Firedemon, who begins walking away with a shiny new sword he found.
"Wait, guys!" says Tolvan. "Come on, you don't want to disappoint Stealthy!"
Firedemon and Bob walk away in separate directions.
"Aw, I thought we had a good thing going here," says Tolvan, disappointed.
A few seconds pass.
"Uh oh," says Tolvan, feeling the now empty sheath on his thigh. "Did Firedemon just steal my sword?"
--
"Whoohoohooho!" says Firedemon, running as fast as he can while carrying several armloads of gear, now including a sword.
--
Easy slices through some thick ferns and steps into a clearing.
He sees Stealthy sitting next to a campfire.
"Heyyyy," says Stealthy, waving to Easy. "Easy, c'mon over here!"
Easy expects a trap, but detects none. It's clear from the large flask in Stealthy's hand, and Stealthy's very demeanor, that he is completely plastered.
"Stealthy?" says Easy, cautiously approaching arguably the forum's smartest man. "Are you drunk? What's going on?"
"I've seen this place *hic* before," stammers Stealthy. He points to his head. "In my mind."
"What are you talking about?" asks Easy.
"I made this arena, Easy, I made this game!" says Stealthy.
"I'm confused," says Easy. "This isn't some kind of hallucination. You realize that, right? This is real."
"Oh. Yep. Yahhhh it's real," says Stealthy. "For us, anyways. Not like it matters. I didn't know. I...I don't even think they know, at least not yet."
"Why are you like this?" asks Easy. "You're going to get yourself killed. I had half a mind to kill you when I saw you."
"We're all going to get killed," laughs Stealthy. "We're just toys. And machines. And he's a perfect man. An unbeatable machine. Hell bent on..."
Stealthy dozes off.
"Stay with me," says Easy, lightly slapping Stealthy's face.
"He's real," smiles Stealthy. "Fourteen."
Easy stands up and takes a step back.
"That's impossible," says Easy.
"Mach was a new community, and he waaaaas a new face," says Stealthy. "The prodigal's son has returned."
Stealthy begins laughing, then stops and meets eyes with Easy.
"You know what you must do," says Stealthy.
Easy nods, then turns to leave.
"Good luck out there, Rock," says Stealthy. "You'll need it."
Easy stop for a moment. He walks back towards Stealthy and drops one of his swords at his side.
Easy walks away.
--
The sun is beginning to set. Coolpool, now with a plethora of gear and equipment, walks back towards the main forest. Walrus is close in ow, still blabbering on.
"If you work very very hard, you can be like me one day," says Walrus. "Leading successful groups, being a famous mayor, and who knows, people might even take you seriously!"
"People take me seriously," grumbles Coolpool.
"Ha! No they don't!" says Walrus. "Why, your silly Choose Your Own Adventure threads never even get off the ground!"
Coolpool stops in his tracks.
"Most everyone sees you as this aimless kid," says Walrus. "With an occasionally good idea, but bogged down by consistent mediocrity and poor execution."
Coolpool clenches his fists.
"That's why you should be more like me! Then maybe you'll go somewhere in life, instead of just wasting your potentia-OOF!"
Coolpool tuns around and punches Walrus hard in the stomach. Walrus doubles over in pain.
"You know Walrus," says Coolpool. "If I wanted to be taken more seriously, you're the last person I would emulate! You're obnoxious and arrogant and incredibly annoying, and believe me, there's a lot of people on the forum that fit that description, yet you seem to be the best at it!"
Coolpool kicks Walrus in the side.
"And in case you weren't paying attention to the announcement at the beginning," says Coolpool. "Only the last survivor gets to go home! We're in a battle to the death! But you've spent the last two days trying to restart your pathetic re-election campaign for some stupid reason!"
Coolpool bashes Walrus' head against a rock several times.
"I don't know why I put up with you for so long," says Coolpool. "You're worthless."
Coolpool begins walking away as Walrus groans.
"Coolpool..." groans Walrus.
Coolpool begins digging in his backpack. He pulls out his laser pistol and a deactivated landmine.
"I'm sorry..." says Walrus, struggling to stay conscious.
Coolpool reactivates the fist-sized landmine.
"I was...trying to make you a...stronger person," says Walrus.
"You succeeded," says Coolpool, throwing the landmine towards Walrus and shooting it mid-flight with his laser pistol.
The resulting explosion reduces Walrus to a bloody smear on the ground, and the area around his desecrated remains are scorched with fire and soot.
Coolpool continues walking, alone at last.
END OF DAY 2
...what?
Just as a heads up, I probably won't get to writing Day 3 until Tuesday. So feel free to discuss theories/bet on who's going to win, etc.
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"Hey Artist, is that you?" asks Bob, walking up to Artist.
"Oh, hey man," says Artist. "What are you up to?"
"Not much," says Bob. "I tried joining a team, but it was pretty sucky."
"Yeah, I hear you man," says Artist. "I tried teaming up with Walrus earlier, but he just ran away."
"Probably for the best," says Bob.
"Heh, yeah," says Artist.
"What do you have there?" asks Bob.
"Oh, I think it's a blowgun," says Artist.
"Kinky," says Bob. "Can I try it?"
"Uh, different kind of blowgun," says Artist. "See, watch."
Artist points the blowgun at Bob and blows into it. A tiny dart shoots out and embeds itself in the side of Bob's neck.
"Ow!" says Bob, pulling the dart out. "You ass."
"But it's practically harmless!" says Artist. I found it in one of those treasure caches, but it's worthless. Maybe if you hit somebody in the eye with it or something it'd be useful, but I can't think of a good use for it."
"Anyways, you want to team up?" asks Bob.
"Sure," says Artist. "You seem pretty cool."
"Thanks," says Bob. "Do you mind taking first watch? I'm getting pretty sleepy."
"No problem pal," says Artist.
Bob drifts off to sleep.
--
"It's been a weird day," says Easy, poking the campfire. "You guys sure you want to sleep in shifts, and not just go separate ways? I realize the whole 'last man standing' thing makes truces kind of awkward."
"I'm fine with sleeping in shifts," says Druby. "I'm just happy Tolvan's not here. Guy's scary as shit."
"Yeah," says Easy, looking at the ground. "He's uh, really something else."
"I'm happy to be here," says Req. "A bunch of other asshats stole all my gear, now all I have is this stupid trident."
Coolpool polishes his laser gun as best he can before placing it back in his bag. Everyone else in the group eyes him nervously.
"I'll take first watch," says Coolpool.
--
"Nobody wants me on their team," says Tolvan, climbing into a tree to get some rest. "Is something wrong with me? I'm trying to be a nice teammate. I hope I'm not coming off as a dick or something."
--
Dunsparce hums to himself as he falls asleep.
My name is Dunsparce, and I'm pretty artistic
If you think you can beat me, you're being unrealistic
I'm a master of linguistics and an expert on statistics
Though they say I am sadistic or at best autistic
The truth is that deep down I'm really antaaa...
Dunsparce yawns and falls asleep.
--
"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
"Sounds like a kangaroo on fire!" says Andy. "What on earth is that!?"
Danny emerges from the brush, looking completely insane and wielding a chainsaw.
"I FUCKING HATE PIZZAAAAAA!" shouts Danny.
"Whoa, calm down there mate," says Andy. "No need for a ruckus!"
Danny can understand Andy's words, but his blind fury causes him to envision Andy as an anthropomorphic slice of pizza.
"DIE, PEPPERONI!" shouts Danny, who begins running towards Andy.
Andy yells in terror and begins running away, with Danny right behind him.
--
"Oh no," says TC. "A brick wall."
"Hey TC," says Shizno.
TC seems startled.
"Oh," says TC. "Hey Shizno. Have you been here the whole game?"
"Yeah, pretty much," says Shizno. "You want help over the wall or something?"
"I don't know," says TC, rubbing his arms. "I'm just trying not to be cold. I've had a really sucky day."
"Do you wanna talk about it?" asks Shizno.
"Not really," says TC.
"Well, do you want to maybe...help each other warm up?" asks Shizno.
TC looks at Shizno curiously.
"I'm really not in the mood," says TC.
"I just mean snuggle," says Shizno.
"Oh," says TC. "Well, alright then."
The two of them snuggle for warmth.
"Hey TC," says Shizno.
"What?" asks TC.
"I hope we win," says Shizno.
"Me too," says TC, and the two of them fall asleep together.
--
Artist wakes up and yawns.
"Okay, it's been a few hours," says Artist. "I can take over on watch if you..."
Artist looks at Bob. Bob is lying on the ground, very dead. There is a massive purple sore where the dart had struck him earlier, and there is blood oozing out of every orifice of his body.
Artist looks at the blowgun next to him, then back at Bob's body.
Artist scratches his head.
"Whoops."
--
"Ha! We finally found you!" says Jeroth as he and Tag Ross enter the clearing with Stealthy in it. "I heard you sent men to my camp earlier, but I evaded you! And now, with my new buddy Tag Ross who's my fellow underestimated forumer, we will kill you and take your stuff!"
Stealthy continues snoring.
"Seriously?" says Jeroth.
Tag Ross shrugs.
"Doesn't look like he has anything good, either," says Jeroth. "It's weird, it's like he wasn't even taking this game seriously."
Tag Ross shrugs, and picks up the sword by Stealthy's sleeping body. He looks towards Jeroth.
"Yeah, you can have the stupid sword," says Jeroth.
Tag Ross gestures towards Stealthy.
"No, you can do it," says Jeroth, crossing his arms and kicking Stealthy's empty flask. "There's no fun in it like this anyhow."
Tag Ross shrugs, then hacks Stealthy's head off with the sword.
--
"Well Recon, that did not go well," says Recon to himself. "You lost Easy, Danny went full Blood Moon, and everybody else ditched you. Hard to get worse than this."
Recon hears a rumbling approaching him.
"Hey, w-who's there?" asks Recon.
Suddenly, Firedemon appears in Recon's clearing, carrying an incredibly absurd amount of gear and equipment with him.
"Do you even use like half that stuff?" asks Recon.
"It's not about having, it's about taking," says Firedemon, throwing all of his loot onto the ground, including Tolvan's shortsword. "Speaking of which, do you have anything worth stealing?"
"Not really," says Recon. "This jacket's kind of comfy, but I don't think it's your size."
"Oh, that's okay," says Firedemon. "In that case I'll just steal...YOUR LIFE! Muahaha!"
Firedemon pulls out a rocket launcher from his pile of junk and aims it at Recon. He fires it just as Recon dives to the side. FD's rocket hits the tree behind Recon, blasting away a large portion of the trunk. The tree begins to teeter.
"Uh-oh," says Firedemon. The tree slowly begins to fall over, and FD easily moves out of the way as it falls.
"Oh no!" shouts Firedemon, realizing all of his treasured gear was going to be crushed by the tree. "My loot!"
Firedemon jumps on top of his pile of gear and begins moving it as quickly as possible. He moves out of the way of the tree trunk when it hits the ground, however, a large branch from the tree impales FD through the chest as it falls on top of him.
"Holy shit!" shouts Recon.
"Auuughhh," chokes out Firedemon. Blood pours out of his chest onto the pile of gear beneath him. With his dying strength, he gathers all of the loot into a pile again and embraces it.
"It's...alll...mine..." says Firedemon, as he draws his last breath.
"Wow," says Recon, scratching his head. "This is by far the weirdest thing that could have happened."
"AHHHHHHHHH!"
Suddenly, Andy bursts into the clearing, screaming and running towards FD's loot pile. Danny appera behind him, wielding a chainsaw.
"THE ONLY TOPPING I WANT IS YOUR SOUUUUUUUL!" screams Danny as he charges at Andy.
Andy quickly sorts through the pile of loot until he finds a shortsword. He turns around just as Danny is about to eviscerate him. Andy rolls out of the way, but manages to slice Danny across the stomach while doing so.
Danny drops his chainsaw and falls onto the ground. He lands on top of his chainsaw, which shears his arm off.
Andy and Recon stare at the grisly scene in horror. Danny's entrails begin spilling out through the wound Andy dealt him, and yet Danny stares into the sky, seeming oddly at peace.
"His ahyss..." says Danny, reaching to the sky with his one remaining arm. "Was truly...butttt."
Danny's arm goes limp and he breathes his last.
Andy takes a moment to catch his breath, then realizes that Recon is staring at him. Andy throws his sword at Recon, which misses by a mile. Andy quickly grabs a pair of sais from FD's bloody loot pile and runs off into the forest once more.
"The fact that all of that made sense," says Recon to himself. "Means that this community is really, really. Really. Weird."
"Oh, hey man," says Artist. "What are you up to?"
"Not much," says Bob. "I tried joining a team, but it was pretty sucky."
"Yeah, I hear you man," says Artist. "I tried teaming up with Walrus earlier, but he just ran away."
"Probably for the best," says Bob.
"Heh, yeah," says Artist.
"What do you have there?" asks Bob.
"Oh, I think it's a blowgun," says Artist.
"Kinky," says Bob. "Can I try it?"
"Uh, different kind of blowgun," says Artist. "See, watch."
Artist points the blowgun at Bob and blows into it. A tiny dart shoots out and embeds itself in the side of Bob's neck.
"Ow!" says Bob, pulling the dart out. "You ass."
"But it's practically harmless!" says Artist. I found it in one of those treasure caches, but it's worthless. Maybe if you hit somebody in the eye with it or something it'd be useful, but I can't think of a good use for it."
"Anyways, you want to team up?" asks Bob.
"Sure," says Artist. "You seem pretty cool."
"Thanks," says Bob. "Do you mind taking first watch? I'm getting pretty sleepy."
"No problem pal," says Artist.
Bob drifts off to sleep.
--
"It's been a weird day," says Easy, poking the campfire. "You guys sure you want to sleep in shifts, and not just go separate ways? I realize the whole 'last man standing' thing makes truces kind of awkward."
"I'm fine with sleeping in shifts," says Druby. "I'm just happy Tolvan's not here. Guy's scary as shit."
"Yeah," says Easy, looking at the ground. "He's uh, really something else."
"I'm happy to be here," says Req. "A bunch of other asshats stole all my gear, now all I have is this stupid trident."
Coolpool polishes his laser gun as best he can before placing it back in his bag. Everyone else in the group eyes him nervously.
"I'll take first watch," says Coolpool.
--
"Nobody wants me on their team," says Tolvan, climbing into a tree to get some rest. "Is something wrong with me? I'm trying to be a nice teammate. I hope I'm not coming off as a dick or something."
--
Dunsparce hums to himself as he falls asleep.
My name is Dunsparce, and I'm pretty artistic
If you think you can beat me, you're being unrealistic
I'm a master of linguistics and an expert on statistics
Though they say I am sadistic or at best autistic
The truth is that deep down I'm really antaaa...
Dunsparce yawns and falls asleep.
--
"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
"Sounds like a kangaroo on fire!" says Andy. "What on earth is that!?"
Danny emerges from the brush, looking completely insane and wielding a chainsaw.
"I FUCKING HATE PIZZAAAAAA!" shouts Danny.
"Whoa, calm down there mate," says Andy. "No need for a ruckus!"
Danny can understand Andy's words, but his blind fury causes him to envision Andy as an anthropomorphic slice of pizza.
"DIE, PEPPERONI!" shouts Danny, who begins running towards Andy.
Andy yells in terror and begins running away, with Danny right behind him.
--
"Oh no," says TC. "A brick wall."
"Hey TC," says Shizno.
TC seems startled.
"Oh," says TC. "Hey Shizno. Have you been here the whole game?"
"Yeah, pretty much," says Shizno. "You want help over the wall or something?"
"I don't know," says TC, rubbing his arms. "I'm just trying not to be cold. I've had a really sucky day."
"Do you wanna talk about it?" asks Shizno.
"Not really," says TC.
"Well, do you want to maybe...help each other warm up?" asks Shizno.
TC looks at Shizno curiously.
"I'm really not in the mood," says TC.
"I just mean snuggle," says Shizno.
"Oh," says TC. "Well, alright then."
The two of them snuggle for warmth.
"Hey TC," says Shizno.
"What?" asks TC.
"I hope we win," says Shizno.
"Me too," says TC, and the two of them fall asleep together.
--
Artist wakes up and yawns.
"Okay, it's been a few hours," says Artist. "I can take over on watch if you..."
Artist looks at Bob. Bob is lying on the ground, very dead. There is a massive purple sore where the dart had struck him earlier, and there is blood oozing out of every orifice of his body.
Artist looks at the blowgun next to him, then back at Bob's body.
Artist scratches his head.
"Whoops."
--
"Ha! We finally found you!" says Jeroth as he and Tag Ross enter the clearing with Stealthy in it. "I heard you sent men to my camp earlier, but I evaded you! And now, with my new buddy Tag Ross who's my fellow underestimated forumer, we will kill you and take your stuff!"
Stealthy continues snoring.
"Seriously?" says Jeroth.
Tag Ross shrugs.
"Doesn't look like he has anything good, either," says Jeroth. "It's weird, it's like he wasn't even taking this game seriously."
Tag Ross shrugs, and picks up the sword by Stealthy's sleeping body. He looks towards Jeroth.
"Yeah, you can have the stupid sword," says Jeroth.
Tag Ross gestures towards Stealthy.
"No, you can do it," says Jeroth, crossing his arms and kicking Stealthy's empty flask. "There's no fun in it like this anyhow."
Tag Ross shrugs, then hacks Stealthy's head off with the sword.
--
"Well Recon, that did not go well," says Recon to himself. "You lost Easy, Danny went full Blood Moon, and everybody else ditched you. Hard to get worse than this."
Recon hears a rumbling approaching him.
"Hey, w-who's there?" asks Recon.
Suddenly, Firedemon appears in Recon's clearing, carrying an incredibly absurd amount of gear and equipment with him.
"Do you even use like half that stuff?" asks Recon.
"It's not about having, it's about taking," says Firedemon, throwing all of his loot onto the ground, including Tolvan's shortsword. "Speaking of which, do you have anything worth stealing?"
"Not really," says Recon. "This jacket's kind of comfy, but I don't think it's your size."
"Oh, that's okay," says Firedemon. "In that case I'll just steal...YOUR LIFE! Muahaha!"
Firedemon pulls out a rocket launcher from his pile of junk and aims it at Recon. He fires it just as Recon dives to the side. FD's rocket hits the tree behind Recon, blasting away a large portion of the trunk. The tree begins to teeter.
"Uh-oh," says Firedemon. The tree slowly begins to fall over, and FD easily moves out of the way as it falls.
"Oh no!" shouts Firedemon, realizing all of his treasured gear was going to be crushed by the tree. "My loot!"
Firedemon jumps on top of his pile of gear and begins moving it as quickly as possible. He moves out of the way of the tree trunk when it hits the ground, however, a large branch from the tree impales FD through the chest as it falls on top of him.
"Holy shit!" shouts Recon.
"Auuughhh," chokes out Firedemon. Blood pours out of his chest onto the pile of gear beneath him. With his dying strength, he gathers all of the loot into a pile again and embraces it.
"It's...alll...mine..." says Firedemon, as he draws his last breath.
"Wow," says Recon, scratching his head. "This is by far the weirdest thing that could have happened."
"AHHHHHHHHH!"
Suddenly, Andy bursts into the clearing, screaming and running towards FD's loot pile. Danny appera behind him, wielding a chainsaw.
"THE ONLY TOPPING I WANT IS YOUR SOUUUUUUUL!" screams Danny as he charges at Andy.
Andy quickly sorts through the pile of loot until he finds a shortsword. He turns around just as Danny is about to eviscerate him. Andy rolls out of the way, but manages to slice Danny across the stomach while doing so.
Danny drops his chainsaw and falls onto the ground. He lands on top of his chainsaw, which shears his arm off.
Andy and Recon stare at the grisly scene in horror. Danny's entrails begin spilling out through the wound Andy dealt him, and yet Danny stares into the sky, seeming oddly at peace.
"His ahyss..." says Danny, reaching to the sky with his one remaining arm. "Was truly...butttt."
Danny's arm goes limp and he breathes his last.
Andy takes a moment to catch his breath, then realizes that Recon is staring at him. Andy throws his sword at Recon, which misses by a mile. Andy quickly grabs a pair of sais from FD's bloody loot pile and runs off into the forest once more.
"The fact that all of that made sense," says Recon to himself. "Means that this community is really, really. Really. Weird."
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Might want to edit that. And I'll post the actual results
One day, I will animate all of this.
Instead of writing Day 3 this week, I'm going to try to interview a lot of our fallen candidates. Get some other voices in on this mess, build up hype, etc. It'll be fun.
Interview with fallen tribute Lotus.
I saw you replied to this thread and was so excited to read the new chapter and you FUCKED IT UP. This was my only reason to come to the forum today and you ruined it!
Good job.
Interviewing the fallen is a neat idea though. I will certainly listen to the interviews the next time I have my dick out- No, I meant animating frogs with they dicks out or whatever. Who fucking cares.
Am I funny yet?
I was awarded this after making an antagonistic post. That says a lot about this community, I think.