Continuous CYOA: The Road to Free Roller


Right Honorable Justice
Appendix A: Multi-Choice Chapters
Appendix B: Sim-Pod Stats


- i. Thunderclaw
- ii. Refuse Help

- iii. Shower
- iv. Pick Up The Soap
- v. Do Nothing
- vi. Punch Firedemon
- vii. Ceiling Escape

Act I: The Path of Spirit
Chapter One: Dissent
- i. Read The Material (a)
- ii. Read The Material (b)
- iii. Galadon; Smith/Swordsman; INT/DEX
- iv. Go Quietly
- v. Exploding Bolt
- vi. Plea Bargain
- vii. Epilogue
- viii. End

Intermission I: Coolpool
Intermission II: Casus Belli
Intermission III: Another War
Intermission IV: The Obligatory Musical One

Chapter Two: Turmoil
[Teaser I]
- i. Give an Honest Estimate
The Teal Storm (i)
The Teal Storm (ii)
The Teal Storm (iii)

The Teal Storm (iv)
The Teal Storm (v)
The Teal Storm (vi)
- ii. Investigate the Guild
- iii. Run Upstairs


The biggest loser on the forums was having an average day, which was pretty awful. Currently Firedemon was holding his head in a toilet bowl of the Mafia General thread's bathroom, while Tim, with a certain amount of ceremony, reached over his shoulder to proudly flush it. Unfortunately, their victim had stopped trying to scream for help by the time the water level had subsided to below his head, and instead just sat there quietly sputtering. "Huh" said Firedemon. "Hey Tim, do you think we're being a little over-the-top cliched, here? Cause I feel like this is getting kind of redundant at this point."

"Naw, man," said Tim. "C'mon, this one's a classic! We just should've peed in it first, is all. But hey, look, I heard Riyant installed som-" the loser didn't hear what came next, because the water level went back over his ears again. There was some excited back-and-forth before Firedemon let him up for air, and was about to dunk him again just before Requiem walked in.

"Req! Help!" He shouted, and immediately regretted it. Depending on Requiem's mood, he could be one of the forum's chillest dudes, most annoying spammers, funniest jokers, gayest gaybies, savagest banterers, or whiniest bitches. A quick glance at his face before getting dunked again had told him all he needed to know about which one he was now.

"Man, this again?" Said Req. "And still with just the water? Come on, at least make it interesting. Move over, Tim. I gotta take a leak..."

Hours later, inside one of the lockers in the Mafia General thread's brand-new locker room, the biggest loser on the forums wept quietly as he reflected on his life. Nothing particularly unusual had happened to bring this about - and that realization was exactly the problem. This was always happening. Practically every day, in fact. And it wasn't even the big shot bullies that went for him, either. Tirin? Stealthy? That would be one thing, but Req? Tim? Firedemon? At this rate, even the bots were going to start picking on him pretty soon.

The fall of heavy footsteps arriving, accompanied by muttered thoughts in some unrecognizable foreign tongue snapped him out of his reflections. That didn't sound like Mexican! "Hey, Easy!" He called, banging on the locker door. "Help! You're smart, you can pick this lock for me! Please! FD and Tim locked me in here like four hours ago!"

Easy paused, surprised at the interruption. "Uh. Yeah, I probably could..." he said, walking up to the locker. Without warning, a fist smashed through the door from the outside, grabbed around the latch, and ripped the whole thing from its hinges with a scream of twisting metal. "Eventually. Oh," he added, throwing the useless door aside as the poor man stepped out, blinking at the sudden influx of light. "It's you again."

The biggest loser on the forums is...

Choose your character:

1) Thunderclaw
2) W1LG3R
3) Rondait
4) Dunsparce
5) Walrus
6) ___?
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Savage AF
The Original Gangster
I can't really choose a person, I don't really see anyone on the list as a loser.


Well-Known Member
Why is this such a difficult choice?

Dunsparce is antagonistic by legend alone, and could not be the biggest loser. He's obviously a bully.

W1LG3R is the dumbest wizard on the forums, so could be.

Ronbait is also a superb candidate.

Though TC has the blame TC thread, but a loser would lack TC's notoriety and infamy.

I gotta go for W1LG3R. Rondait can be pretty low, but dumb wizards can do spells, and that's all they've got.


After consideration, I'll go with Dunsparce. He deserves this role more than the other options.
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Well-Known Member
Dunsparce is DEFINITELY the biggest loser on the forum.


Well-Known Member
If we focus on forum origin stories: Dunsparce. There were A LOT of 'stupid' posts and antagonistic replies back then. Case and point: The admin-caused origin of the Dunsparce username.

If we focus on current statistics: W1LG3R. While the level of initial antagonism wasn't quite as high as Dunsparce's antagonism intake, W1LG3R is the one that is still most regularly antagonized by members of the community [to the point that W1LG3R has intentionally distanced himself from members of the community (e.g. decisions not to play games with them)].

I feel like this thread is trying to take place in the present, so W1LG3R.


Right Honorable Justice
Oh shit, I forgot to include Walrus as a choice.

Edit: fixed.


Right Honorable Justice
When making your choices, keep in mind that the story is that of a loser's quest to stop being a loser, and become a badass instead. Your choice of character will affect the nature of the options available to him, the difficulty of this endeavor, and therefore the odds of his success.


Unregsistered User
Thunderclaw. Picking thunderclaw is never not funny.
Mostly because he tries so hard, has such good intentions but things never quite pan out.


God-Emperor of Tealkind
I feel like none of these people have a real chance to become a badass, but the one with the closest to it is Thunderclaw.

Also he is a fucking huge loser, making him all the better for the part.


Right Honorable Justice

Dunsparce: 2 (Lotus, Dunsparce, Xander)
Coolpool: 1 (TC)
W1LG3R: 1 (Walrus)
Thunderclaw: 2 (Danny, Tirin)


Unregsistered User
Dunsparce: 2 (Lotus, Dunsparce, Xander)
For future reference, which one of these 3 doesn't count as a person, or simply doesn't have a vote?

never mind I think i know the answer.


Right Honorable Justice
For future reference, which one of these 3 doesn't count as a person, or simply doesn't have a vote?never mind I think i know the answer.
Xander and Dunsparce are the same person and have 3/5 of a vote each, rounded down to the nearest whole number after totaling.
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